The Perils of Not Checking the Oil

     It was around the fall of 1995 when Brian purchased an Eddie Bauer, 2 door, Ford Bronco II, navy blue with cream trim. It even had a sunroof with it.  He bought it after his older pick-up truck, that we called Big Blue, went out.  He had to take a loan out for it and he was nervous on doing so because he never had a loan from a bank before.  He looked at the sales man who wanted to offer us a 2 year loan contract and Brian said, "Two years?  I don't know if I can make a commitment that long!"  He said that meaning more of where the economy might be in two years and where he would be financially. 

     I looked at him wide-eyed, "You CAN'T make a two year commitment yet you want me to marry you?  At least I am finding this out now!"  We all laughed. 

     He eventually made the purchase and he was enslaved for a little over $220 a month for the next few years.  While he was out trucking over the road he let me use it at college as long as I would pick him up when he returned back home.  My mom's husband's family was having a get together at Michigan's Adventure in Muskegon.  Brian said I could use the Bronco to drive there.  While leaving the park I noticed the beige tire cover on the back was missing.  I felt horrible.  When I told Brian about it he laughed and said we could get another one and that it was no big deal,  We never did replace it.   Even now as we see a Bronco similar to what ours was we check to see if the tire cover is on theirs.

     I remember my sister and I would go shopping and we would try to fit her daughter's infant car seat in the back.  She had to hold her daughter while I had to twist the car seat around at different angles and upside down and wiggle its way to the back seat.  After I got it in the backseat I had to climb in the back myself to buckle it in.  My sister would pass her daughter over to me and I would place her in the infant car seat and buckle her in.  It really took some talent and time get the infant car seat all set up properly.   

     Fast forward several months to late summer in 1996.  I was 19 and finished off my first year at Grand Valley State University and I moved in with Brian.  We lived on the boarder line of Gobles and Allegan in Michigan.  We just found out we were expecting our first little baby in April the following year.  He was busy trucking for TML out of Grand Rapids and I worked for Family Dollar in Allegan.  Things were going good for us.

     It was a Sunday when the unthinkable happened.   I had my friend Rhonda over and we were watching Scott (Brian's brother's son) who was around 11 or 12 at the time.  Brian called from a payphone to tell me that he was on his way to Grand Rapids and to come and pick him up from the TML terminal.  I was so excited.  It was a week since I had seen him last.  We all piled into the Bronco and made our way north to Grand Rapids. 

     We were having a good ol' time of singing to the radio songs and driving north on U.S. 131 coming near the Cutlerville area when the Bronco started to shake real bad and make loud noises.  I reached over and shut off the radio so I can hear the sounds better.  The steering wheel wobbled heavily in my hand.  Something was seriously wrong.  A rest area was just coming up on our right (the rest area has now been torn down for the construction of M-6).  I managed to work the wheel to pull into there and find a parking spot. 

     We all get out and I lift the hood and look into the engine.  I had no idea what I was looking at.  The parts I was looking at were dark and dirty looking.  I didn't know what to do.  Rhonda and Scott were just clueless at what was going on.  I knew something wasn't right and that I shouldn't be driving it.  Even if I could drive it the Bronco was nearly impossible to control.  I was so close to Grand Rapids yet too far to tempt to drive it or to walk.  We were stuck there at the rest area. 

     I go over to the pay phones and called my sister.  I was running low on coins so I had to be specific and brief in what I said.  I told her the Bronco broke down and that she needed to have her husband Doug drive out to where Brian worked, pick him up and tell him we are broke down.  The downside was that they didn't know exactly where Brian's terminal was and I didn't know the street names to tell her.  I just remembered the route by going with Brian several times before.   The task couldn't be done.

     We went back to the Bronco and stared at the engine as if by magic it would fix itself and remove us from this horrible situation.  A middle aged man nearby was going through the garbage bins looking for soda bottles.  He noticed our drama and started to make his way towards us.  He said he knew a little bit about cars and asked if he could help.  I figured it couldn't hurt any if he looked at it.  I motioned for him to take a glance.  He started to twist off caps and pull some sort of measuring sticks out of the engine. 

     I just wanted to take this moment to explain my background knowledge of cars.  The only thing I knew about cars was put the key in the ignition, how to put in gas, mover the shifter bar to drive and reverse, how to break, how to press on the gas pedal, how to use my blinker, how to turn on the lights, how to use my wipers and how to turn on the radio.  Outside of my little circle of knowledge about cars I knew nothing.  I was completely ignorant.  I didn't care to learn about it.  I just want a car to go from point A to point B.  I had no interest in the mechanics of how it worked. 
    
     The man looks up with a grim look on his face.  "Your dipstick is dry."

     I look at him blankly, "and that means....."

     He shot me a glace to see if I seriously didn't know or if I was being sarcastic.  "You are without oil.  Do you have any on you?"

     I still didn't know what to think.  I told him I didn't have any on me.  I couldn't even tell anyone where to pick any up at.  He said he would see if he had any in his car.  I walked over with him and he had a son about 8 or 9 years old in the old rundown car.  I felt bad for him and his misfortune but ironically he was the one who seemed to feel bad for me and expressed concern.  He fumbled through his trunk and pulled out a few black bottles.  He tried to add it to the Bronco.  He asked for me to start it up and it sounded loud and shook violently.  He immediately told me to shut it off. 

     "I think you have blown a rod."  Again I give him a blank look as I have no clue to what he is talking about, "Do you have far to go?" 

     "I am on my way to pick up my boyfriend.  He's a truck driver."  I reply back.

     "How about if I give you all a ride to him?"  he asks.

     I look over at Rhonda and Scott.  I didn't know what to do.  I know we are not supposed to take rides from strangers.  His car looked like it was ready to fall apart as it is and we just seen him go through the garbage.  Do we dare go with him?  I know if bad things happen Rhonda and I are old enough to take care of ourselves but I had my nephew to think about.  It wasn't just my life I was putting at risk if I took the offer for a ride, it was another person's life.  On the other hand I couldn't just stay there with everyone either.  I said a little prayer of protection from God.  "Alright." I said.

     Before we left I called my sister one last time to let her know I was getting a ride to Brian's work.  She thought I was crazy for getting a ride but I felt as if I didn't have a choice. 

     We proceeded our way north down the highway.  Rhonda and Scott sat in the back along with his son.  I felt secure keeping my hand on the door's handle.  I found myself concentrating to keep breathing.  I was so scared.   I kept looking back at Scott and Rhonda making sure they were okay.  The man obeyed every direction I gave him.  I started to feel relieved that he was truly going to take us to Brian's work and not kidnap us.  I was very thankful when he turned into the trucking terminal and Brian was there waiting for us. 

     He talked with the man about the condition of the Bronco.  It all seemed like doctor's jargon - a language only they can understand.  All of it seemed so foreign to me.  Shortly, the man and his son left.  Brian told us that TML granted us permission to take the semi home and we should hop in.  Rhonda and Scott were excited about getting into the semi truck.  I had already been in a semi before and I do enjoy the rides.  But I knew Brian was upset and I wasn't going to enjoy this ride home. 

     He asked me why I didn't check the oil.  I told him I never knew I had to check the oil.  I also told him I never knew how or where to check the oil.   He grew up working around cars and trucks so for him it was all second nature.  He didn't understand how I didn't know.  He explained to me that oil is like the car's blood and without it a car cannot run.  I still didn't understand the depths of it all.  I kept thinking just add more oil and it will be okay.  But Brian further explained that by not having oil in the Bronco it kills the engine and the whole engine would need to be replaced which is very expensive.  We still owed on the Bronco and we couldn't even use it.  Now I was starting to see how major of a deal this whole thing was.  I felt beyond horrible. 

     He made his way around Grand Rapids so we could head back to the rest stop.  He looks the Bronco over and declares that the engine is blown.  He wasn't happy to say the least and I don't blame him for being mad.  It was silent for a moment as we made our way back home.  Rhonda, sitting on the bed in the bunk, broke the silence to ask Brian a bunch of questions about the trucking industry.  It sort of calmed him down talking about it. 

     We did make it back home and eventually purchased another vehicle from the side of the road and that is a whole other blog in itself.   The Bronco wouldn't of made a good use for a family vehicle anyway but I would of rather tried selling it rather than having the motor blow out on it.  Now I am a little wiser in checking the oil and learning where to take the car for oil changes.  It was an expensive lessoned learned. 

Traveling Family Car Games

     I look at ads for new cars today and most all of them boast about tv's in the back to keep the younger children quiet.  The commercial shows young children happily sitting in the back, with ear phones plugged into their ears, as they sit and stare at a screen that is built into the back of the front seat of the car, each watching a show of their own.  Mom and dad are in the front seat listening to music from their own generation.  On the commercial it all looks great and quiet but one thing is lacking.  Quality family time. 

     While the children's brain's are turning into a pool of mushy goo by over watching SpongeBob SquarePants and another Justin Bieber music video, they are missing out on the opportunities of what is around them outside of the car.  A city kid may miss out on seeing a deer or a cow as they drive through the rural areas.  A country kid may miss out on seeing the lights and sounds of a big city that they are traveling through.  Perhaps there is some rich history that the parents could tell the children about the area.  This is all part of taking a car ride, to be with one another and to enjoy each other's company. 

     In long car rides my sister, brother, and I would find ways to occupy our time.  We didn't have tv's in our car.  We only had each other for entertainment.  Below I am going to list some of the things we did to help entertain ourselves in the car.  Some are widely known and other's we made up.  Perhaps you have a game that you remember playing in the car with your family when you were little.  Remember how much fun it was to pass the time?  Why not pass those fun moments onto your family?

1. Mad Libs:  Every child loves adding words to create a funny story.  These can be printable right off the computer or bought at a variety of stores.  Not only is the outcome of the story funny but it helps a child learn their parts of speech when they have to think of a noun, verb, adverb, or adjective.  Have mom think of a word, then a sibiling, then dad.  When you get different people thinking of different words the story could get very creative.  
2. Letter Game:  Have a person pick a letter from the alphabet.  Have another person be a writer or have a really good memory.  In a circular motion everyone has to say a word that starts with that letter and see how many words you can think of.  For instance, if the letter is "C" mom might start off saying "Carrot".  One child might say "Cake" and another child might say "California" and dad might say "Carborator".  The writer would have to write down every word so no one repeats a word.  If someone does repeat they get a strike.  If you cannot think of a word you also get a strike.  Setting a timer is optional for how long it should take someone to guess a word.  After 3 strikes a person is out.  At the end it is fun to see how many words can be known with a certain letter.  This game helps a child build up vocabulary.  Some words they may not know and want to know the defination of it.  It can also help with spelling.  If the letter is "T" and a child says "Pterodactyl" a parent can explain about silent letters and "Pterodactyl" actually starts with a P.  
3. Billboard Alphabet Game:  The object is, as a family, to get through the entire alphabet by looking at the billboards or license plates of other cars.  If there is a billboard of McDonald's then you shout out "A" for McDonAlds.  Then perhaps passing you is a car with the license plate QBX 620 a person would shout out "B".  "C" could be from a sign that says "Bridge May Be ICy".  See if you can get through the whole alphabet before reaching your destination.  Those traveling through a city will do the alphabet much quicker than those out in the rural areas.  You can add some excitment to it by seeing how many miles it takes to get through the entire alphabet.  Just remember the mile marker you are passing when you start and subtract it from the mile marker from when you are finished or set the odometer.  Play the game again and see if you can do the whole alphabet in less milage.  WARNING:  The driver can particpate but make sure the driver doesn't get too distracted looking around.  It may cause an accident. 
4. Roadside Tally:  See how many things you find along your trip.  This was a game my sister and I made up.  Some of the things we would put on our list is "Tire Monster" which is huge broken piece of tire, "smooshed unknowns"  which is a dead animal that cannot be indentified.  Each dead animal that could be indentified had its own category.  Live animal's also had their own category.  Sometimes Adopt-A-Highway would leave their garbage bags on the side of the highway waiting for someone to pick up the bags.  We would call it "Trash Monsters".  "Cars on the side of the road" would have it's own category.  "Hitchhiker" would be another category.  Everytime we passed something in the category we would make a slash mark under it.  We would often go from Saginaw, Michigan to Houghton Lake, Michigan and we would find around 4 "smooshed unknown's", maybe 2 "Cars on the side of the road" and maybe a few "Out of State" plates.  The fun part is that you create your own categories.  You can just do types of cars or different semi trucks you see along the route.  This game helps a child to look around the world around them.  They may catch a deer coming out of the woods or something they may not have noticed while staring at a tv screen.  It may also help them be conscience of the world around them and not to pollute if there is too much trash or debris around.  
5. Going On A Picnic:  This is another alphabet game.  One person starts off saying, "I am going to a picnic and I am going to bring an Apple."  The next person would say, "I am going to a picnic and I am going to bring an Apple and a Ball."  The third person will have to say, "I am going to a picnic and I am going to bring and Apple, a Ball and a Cat."  Go through the whole alphebet, repeating the long list as you go.  See how much you can remember and see if you can do this.  This game helps spark creativity in what to bring to a picnic.  It also helps with memory recognition as they recall all the things that are being brought to the picnic.  You can expand the game from here with doing just foods, book or movie titles, colors, people's names, etc.  
6. A Pad Of Paper and A Pen:   Many things can be done between a few people, a pad of paper and a pen.  Instead of listing them seperately I decided to list them together.  You can play Tic Tac Toe, Dots, Hangman, or Pictionary (Draw a picture and have the other person guess what it is).  Another game is a story game.  It is good with 3 or more players.  The first player writes down a sentence.  The next player, after reading that sentence, writes a sentence of their own.  Before passing the paper to the third person the second person folds over what the first person wrote.  The third person can only read what the second person wrote.  They have to write a sentence.  It goes on and on until someone ends the story.  Each time it is passed to the next person the paper gets folded down more and more.  The person after the last person wrote, when the story is done, unfolds the paper and reads the whole story.  It can get wacky and crazy so prepare for some laughs.  Another game with paper and a pen is for one person to say 5 animals names.  The next person has to draw a crazy creature using the 5 animal names.  Take turns and see what unique creatures you can create. 
7. Who Can Say 20 First:   The goal is to get your opponet to say 20 first.  A person can only say one or two numbers at a time.  It helps a person strategize a game in how to make the other person say 20 first.  It greatly develops their thinking skills and for younger children their counting skills.  
8. Books:   A book is not a game but it can be turned into one.  If two people have the same book, let's say a Bible, see who can find Psalms 90 first or who can find the book of Jeremiah first.  Maybe someone reads a paragraph out of a book or a full page.  Then the other person has to make up the rest of the story.  Again, this uses the imagination and creativity in their thinking.  It lets children know that there can be different options to ending a book.  
9. The Other Car:   Look into a car that is passing you or you are passing.  Talk about that car.  Where do you think they are going?  Are they on vacation or running errands?  Are there pets in the car?  What kind of pet would this person in the other car own?  Are they talking on the phone or singing to music?  If you wave hi at them would they wave back?  In playing this game remember to be polite.  Don't make silly faces or give them the bird.  Keeps the comments positive and up beat.  It shows the children to think positively about other people and it helps them wonder.  
10. Trivia Games:   You can buy packs of trivia cards for all ages at any big box store like Meijer's, WalMart or KMart.  I am sure some truck stops may even sell small packs of trivia cards.  If dad is driving then mom can read off the cards.  She can ask a question to see who knows it or direct it to certain people.  You can keep points and see who reaches 20 first or just have fun and pass the time.  Everyone can learn from bits of trivia they hear and sometimes kids can suprise themselves with things they remember from school.  Just don't make it too hard for the children's age group.   

     Those long car trips do not have to be torture for you and everyone in the car.  Use this time for conversation and getting to know each other better.  Getting there is half the fun of the whole trip and it is with these memories that the children will remember.               

My Encounter With The Pimp

In 1995 this was the Apple Blossom Restaurant

     In my senior year of high school I worked as a waitress at the Apple Blossom Family Restaurant.  The restaurant was located across the street from Sara Lee Bakery on 28th street just east of Division in Grand Rapids, Michigan.   The New Beginnings Restaurant now takes the place of Apple Blossom.  In 1995 there was a hotel next door with a reputation for prostitution.  Not too often we would see a prostitute walk over with her suitor to get a bite to eat.  Sometimes when the hired women wasn't dressed properly our assistant manager, Debbie, would kindly have them leave the restaurant and remind them the establishment is supposed to be family friendly and they can return after they change their wardrobe.

     One day during the slow hours Debbie was the hostess and I was the only waitress handling the floor.  She came into the back room where I was prepping some food and told me that I had a party of 3 at a table.  I started to make my way out there and she quickly pulled me aside.  "They are from the hotel so be careful."

     Right away I felt dirty.  I didn't want to serve them.  I round the corner and there was a black man with a black woman and a white woman.  Both women were barely wearing modest clothing but since it was slow Debbie let it pass this time.  I remember the white woman was wearing an open lacy vest with a bikini top underneath.  The black woman has a tube top on with and long earrings.  The black guy was just wearing a plain t-shirt.  I put on my happy face and proceeded towards the table. 

     I was polite and took their orders and even came back and gave them refils on their drinks.  I didn't have much communcation with them because I didn't know what to say.  Do I ask how work is going?  Nope.  I don't want to know.  Do I ask them if they are having a nice day?  I don't know what they would consider a nice day so I don't want to know the answer to that question either.  It was better if I seldom opened my mouth.  They eventually left and I went to start bussing off the table.  As I removed some plates I noticed there was not a tip.  Figures!  Shortly afterwards Debbie came up to me and said they left the tip, as they were checking out, with her to be given to me.  I look and Debbie was handing me a $10 bill with a huge smile on her face.  They were overly gracious with the tip.  I slowly raised my hand up and took the $10 from her.  I didn't want to know what was done for this $10 bill to be earned. 



This is exactly what the Caddy looked like.     



     Weeks had passed and the black man came into the resturant by himself.  I was his waitress again.  He asked me who owned the Cadillac in the back.  I told him it was mine.   It was a 1984 Cadillac Eldorado that my grandfather bought brand new and died a few years later.  My mom still owned the title but allowed me to drive it.  I did not like the idea he was inquiring about the car.  "By any chance are you willing to sell it?" he asked.

     "No.  It's my mom's car really and I know she wants to keep the car."  I replied back.  

     "If she ever wants to sell it let me know.  I can pay her cash for it."  I just smiled and walked away thinking I will never come looking for you to buy this car with your dirty money!  

     Some time has passed.  I didn't give the pimp guy a second thought.  I had the day off and I was driving across town to pick someone up from work.  He worked over at Kenny Rogers Roasters on the far east side of 28th street.  Traffic was heavy that day.  I was nearing the intersection of Eastern and 28th street.  I had to wait for the light at least twice already.  I remember I was in the left lane, music pumping, minding my own business.  Then my passenger side door opens.

     It started me.  "Did you talk to your mom about selling the car yet?" It was the pimp.  I was shocked!  He enters the car and shuts the door.  I was holding my breath and looked around waiting for the candid cameras to pop out from behind a tree or from another vehicle.  "You wouldn't mind dropping me off at the hotel over by the Beltline would you?"  he asked.

     "I am on my way to pick someone up from work now.  I really don't have the extra time."  I said politely. 

     "It won't be that much trouble." the pimp said as he was fastening his seatbelt, "This is as nice on the inside as it is on the outside."  he said about the car. 

     The light turned green.  It was all surreal.  As I took my foot off the break and started pressing down on the gas.  I told him I would only take him to the corner of the Beltline and 28th street.  He can walk to the hotel.  We drove on.  He kept mentioning how he loved this car.  I kept thinking this is not normal.  People don't just walk into other people's car and demand for a ride.  Then he started mentioning how nice I looked with my hair down.  Resturant policy has us wear our hair up in a bun to keep it off the collar.  When I am not working I kept my hair down and it was just over my sholders.  I smiled and lit up a cigarette.  I just concentrated on the road and ashing out my window.  That way I didn't have to glance in his direction.  My foot pressed down on the accelerator a bit harder. 

     We neared the intersection of the Beltline and 28th street.  He thanked me for the ride and asked if I wanted to come meet some people inside.  I reminded him I was dropping him off at the corner and I was not entering the hotel/bar parking lot.  There must of been a firmness to my voice because he didn't debate with me on the issue.  He left the car and I drove down a bit and turned my car around in another business parking lot and drove west to Kenny Roger's Roaster to pick up my friend. 

     I have learned to drive more aware of my surroundings and to keep my door locked.  He never came back into Apple Blossom that I have known of.  I am so thankful that nothing more had happened.