Since the day we are born we come closer and closer to the day we die. We all have an expiration date yet no one knows when. It is one huge mystery - when?! We all expect to live well into our senior years but unfortunally that is not always the case. Sometimes the young parish as well. I believe that when our work here on Earth is done (that God has planned for us) He will call us home. There is a meaning behind everything whether we understand it or not. Perhaps the reason to why a loved one dies may not be our reason to know but for someone else to know the meaning behind it. We don't always need to understand it, but death is something we must accept.
I recently had my mother-in-law pass away last week on December 7. I felt thankful to have been there - not thankful for her death but thankful to have been a part of her life. Her adult children were by her side giving her words of comfort and reassurance as she leaves this Earth. I watched and pictured her in yesteryears as she welcomed each child through labor and gazed upon each new baby with awe. I envisioned her holding them as they took their first breaths in the world and now her children were there waiting for her to take her last. There was a mournful comfort to it.
I came to the analogy of death being like a birth. At one moment the unborn child is not of existence, relying solely on his mother's body for survival. Then one unexpected day there is a little pain and discomfort and that unborn child is born into a beautiful world. All that pain is forgotten as the mother and child stare into each other's beautiful faces. At the time of death things are reversed. On an unexpected date and time there may be some discomfort and pain. Once you get through the "labor" of dying you are welcomed in Jesus' arms and the beauty of Heaven makes you forget all about the suffering from before. It is a birth into death.
William Wallace, a character from the movie Braveheart, said it best with this line, "Death comes to us all." There is no cure from death. No matter what studies the medical field does we still will all die at the end. We can eat all the right foods, live an active and healthy life and we still die. There is no escape from that fact. It is true that by making good choices in our life we can prolong our life a bit longer but death is still going to greet us eventually.
At times when I look at the elderly I try to picture them being young and carefree. I picture them without the wrinkles, gray hair, and without their slow gestures. I imagine them being a young child running around playing happily and carefree. I picture them wooing their spouse by them getting butterflies over that first phone call for a date and feeling wonderfully beautiful. Then I look at the youth running around and wonder if they realize that one day they, too, will get old and not move at a quick pace anymore. Their hair will gray or may even fall out. Their skin will wrinkle and sag. Things that seem important as a young adult will seem trivial to a person with several decades behind them.
So should we just give up on life and roll over and wait to die? NO! That is not what I am saying at all. We should live life and enjoy the gifts that God gave to us all. He gave us the gift of life to live in His glory. God has a purpose for us. He has given us a meaning. We need to give our elders respect while teaching the youth to be respectful to others. We need to remember those who have died and enjoy the moments now that we have with our loved ones. Once that those moments pass we may never get another chance to let them know how much they mean in our lives.
Showing posts with label Birth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Birth. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
The Birth of Ashton
Our last two children were born in Grand Rapids and we decided to have our next baby born at Allegan General Hospital. We were maybe two miles from the hospital and it would be easier to deliver there instead trying to get the children ready and find a babysitter and drive 50+ minutes to Grand Rapids when we both know my labors are quick. I told my doctor that both my last two children were induced and I wanted to go into labor naturally. He knew my requests and worked with me on it.
Our due date came. Later on in the afternoon I was outside playing around with the kids. Our neighbor pulls into the driveway all excited. He said his wife had her baby earlier that morning and they are both doing great. I rubbed my bellying thinking I was supposed to have this baby first. A few days later they all came home and I was able to see the new baby. It was so odd looking at this baby, who wasn't supposed to be due until a week later, who was perfect in every way a baby can be perfect and imagined that right now my baby is fully developed the same way. She can now hold her little one and mine is still incubating on the inside not wanting to come out. I was happy for them all yet a little jealous that her pregnancy pains and labor are all done and over with and she can now enjoy her daughter.
The waiting after the due date is the worst. Every ache and pain you wonder if this is going to be the big one to set me off into labor. At one doctor visit he mentioned that we really shouldn't go too much longer after the due date. I pleaded with him that I wanted to experience going into labor naturally. I took a stress test and all was well. So he said we will talk about it more at the next appointment.
Sunday, October 15 started out like any other day. I remember it was a warm day outside. We did some grocery shopping and even bought a cake to be made praising the republicians to be given to my mom the next day at her office in honor of the Bush vs. Gore presidental election coming up in a few weeks. She is a democrat and we always taunt each other during elections. This was going to be our prank to her. A few people had yard sales going and we stopped and looked around. Later on that evening my sister came down from Grand Rapids with her almost 5 year old and her one year old twin boys. Her husband and Brian went to Brian's mom's house to work on a car. Everyone was having a good time.
It was getting late and my sister was packing up to head home. She looks at me, "Are you okay?"
"Yea, I feel great." I replied.
"You are not going to go into labor now, are you?" she asks.
"No! I am fine. Just sore from running around all day. I am good. You can go home. Brian and your husband are over at his mom's."
Lisa gave me a weird look and figured I was doing okay so she left. Christian and Elizabeth were winding down watching a taped Blue Clues on the VCR and I was picking up all the toys and putting them away. Suddenly and without warning it hit. CONTRACTION! It brought me down to my knees. I was doing good then all of the sudden there it was. I looked up at the clock so I could time them. It was exactly 9pm. It lasted for a short moment. I looked at the kids. Their backs were to me so they didn't see me drop down. They looked so precious just sitting there side by side. In a few hours they are going to have a sibiling and they don't even know it yet, I thought to myself. I stood up and a quick moment later another contraction hit. Okay, this time I knew for certain I was in labor. I needed Brian.
I managed to get to the phone and called Brian. "Hi hun, Can I give you a call right back? I am waiting for a phone call from Mark about advice on the car."
I thought for a moment, "Sure. Call me when you are done." The words slipped out of my mouth. There are times when I can be too polite and this was one of those moments. I should of told him I was in labor but I didn't want to disturb him if he was busy. I started getting things ready to head out to the hospital and waited for Brian to return my call.
Twenty minutes goes by. Contractions were coming and going. The phone finally rings. "Hey hun, what did you need." It was my husband's voice.
"ummm, I am in labor. I kinda would like to go to the hospital now." I said patiently.
Brian stumbled over the phone and said he would be right home. Soon Brian and Doug entered the doorway. I was in the diningroom on my hands and knees breathing hard. Doug takes one look and says, "Yep, she is certainly in labor."
Doug stayed with the kids and we went straight to the hospital. We must of got there shortly after 10pm. Labor was fast and hard. Suddenly I had to use the bathroom. I needed to sit. I was scared to. I didn't want to push the baby out thinking it was a bowel movement. I told the nurse my fears. She asked if I wanted something to make using the bathroom easier. I agreed. She gave me an enema. Trying to use the bathroom and having hard contractions was not an easy task even with the enema but boy oh boy did that ever clean my backside out. Brian, who is very sensitive to smells, could not handle the poisonous gas that was escaping from the bathroom. It was so bad he had to leave the room. Brian was out in the hallway, bending over, gagging ready to throw-up. A nurse approached him and patted him on the back, "Is this your first baby?"
"No, it's our third. My wife just used the bathroom." Brian said without looking up dry heaving. The nurse started to laugh.
We ended up moving to another room to ease my husband, and probably the nursing staff and doctors, sense of smell. I do not remember what I ate that day or the day before but it was taking its vengeance out.
The rest of the labor went smoothly as much as labor could. At 11:43pm a new Moyer entered the world. "Congratulations! It's a girl!" said the doctor.
"A girl?" Brian and I said at the same time. We both were thinking this was going to be a boy. She was going to be called James Reagan. We even called her James when she was developing in my belly. We did think of a girls name but we put that name in the back burner of our brains. For a moment we didn't remember what we agreed upon. Finally we remembered it. Ashton Kae.
As soon as my sister made it back to her apartment my mom called her to let her know I was in labor. They immediatly drove back down to Allegan to the hospital to see the new baby. They arrived at a set of doors and there was a security guard sitting there in a chair. The hospital was in the middle of a make-over and there was a lot of the hospital torn up and you had to take different ways to get to certain parts of the hospital. "Are you here for the lady that was having a baby?" he asks my mom and my sister.
Bewildered that he knew that was the reason of their visit they responded, "yes, we are."
"I think she just had it. There was a lot of noise coming from that window," he points to an opening in the wall to where a window should be a few floors up, "then I just heard a baby cry."
"That must be Jill." my mom says and the guard showed them how to get to my room.
They enter the room and I was already holding Ashton. My sister looks at me, then around the room. "Do you realize there are not window's in your room?!" All I could do was laugh. The whole floor was turned around due to the renovations.
Ashton's entrance to the world was nothing short of a comedy. Personally, I like things quiet and private when I am in labor and this was so far from it. Part of me expected Candid Camera to come around the corner to let me know this portion of my life was a joke and I can redo it to the way I wanted it to happen. A week later we still ended up bringing my mom her political republician cake to her office but I also got to show off my sweet little new daughter along with it.
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| After Ashton was born we used 3 different size of diapers for our 3 children. |
A few weeks before I turned 23 I found out we were expecting our third child. We were happy. We just bought our first home on Bond St. in Allegan and Brian was working at B&B Trucking over in Kalamazoo. We had a three year old boy and a two year old girl still running around in diapers but I guess we were going to add another one to the mix.
Our neighbor was also expecting. She was due October 14 and my due date was set at October 7th. We would talk, during the summer, of our pregnancies and how they are both developing. She found out she was having a girl and my doctor didn't see a need in having an ultrasound so it was going to be a suprise for us. We guessed our first two children correctly and I was thinking this was going to be a boy. It didn't matter to us if we had a boy or a girl. We already had one of each so we just focused on having a healthy baby.
Our last two children were born in Grand Rapids and we decided to have our next baby born at Allegan General Hospital. We were maybe two miles from the hospital and it would be easier to deliver there instead trying to get the children ready and find a babysitter and drive 50+ minutes to Grand Rapids when we both know my labors are quick. I told my doctor that both my last two children were induced and I wanted to go into labor naturally. He knew my requests and worked with me on it.
Our due date came. Later on in the afternoon I was outside playing around with the kids. Our neighbor pulls into the driveway all excited. He said his wife had her baby earlier that morning and they are both doing great. I rubbed my bellying thinking I was supposed to have this baby first. A few days later they all came home and I was able to see the new baby. It was so odd looking at this baby, who wasn't supposed to be due until a week later, who was perfect in every way a baby can be perfect and imagined that right now my baby is fully developed the same way. She can now hold her little one and mine is still incubating on the inside not wanting to come out. I was happy for them all yet a little jealous that her pregnancy pains and labor are all done and over with and she can now enjoy her daughter.
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| Our neighbor's daughter (just turned 1) on the left and her sister in the middle. Ashton, on the right, was just a week before turning 1 year old. |
The waiting after the due date is the worst. Every ache and pain you wonder if this is going to be the big one to set me off into labor. At one doctor visit he mentioned that we really shouldn't go too much longer after the due date. I pleaded with him that I wanted to experience going into labor naturally. I took a stress test and all was well. So he said we will talk about it more at the next appointment.
Sunday, October 15 started out like any other day. I remember it was a warm day outside. We did some grocery shopping and even bought a cake to be made praising the republicians to be given to my mom the next day at her office in honor of the Bush vs. Gore presidental election coming up in a few weeks. She is a democrat and we always taunt each other during elections. This was going to be our prank to her. A few people had yard sales going and we stopped and looked around. Later on that evening my sister came down from Grand Rapids with her almost 5 year old and her one year old twin boys. Her husband and Brian went to Brian's mom's house to work on a car. Everyone was having a good time.
It was getting late and my sister was packing up to head home. She looks at me, "Are you okay?"
"Yea, I feel great." I replied.
"You are not going to go into labor now, are you?" she asks.
"No! I am fine. Just sore from running around all day. I am good. You can go home. Brian and your husband are over at his mom's."
Lisa gave me a weird look and figured I was doing okay so she left. Christian and Elizabeth were winding down watching a taped Blue Clues on the VCR and I was picking up all the toys and putting them away. Suddenly and without warning it hit. CONTRACTION! It brought me down to my knees. I was doing good then all of the sudden there it was. I looked up at the clock so I could time them. It was exactly 9pm. It lasted for a short moment. I looked at the kids. Their backs were to me so they didn't see me drop down. They looked so precious just sitting there side by side. In a few hours they are going to have a sibiling and they don't even know it yet, I thought to myself. I stood up and a quick moment later another contraction hit. Okay, this time I knew for certain I was in labor. I needed Brian.
I managed to get to the phone and called Brian. "Hi hun, Can I give you a call right back? I am waiting for a phone call from Mark about advice on the car."
I thought for a moment, "Sure. Call me when you are done." The words slipped out of my mouth. There are times when I can be too polite and this was one of those moments. I should of told him I was in labor but I didn't want to disturb him if he was busy. I started getting things ready to head out to the hospital and waited for Brian to return my call.
Twenty minutes goes by. Contractions were coming and going. The phone finally rings. "Hey hun, what did you need." It was my husband's voice.
"ummm, I am in labor. I kinda would like to go to the hospital now." I said patiently.
Brian stumbled over the phone and said he would be right home. Soon Brian and Doug entered the doorway. I was in the diningroom on my hands and knees breathing hard. Doug takes one look and says, "Yep, she is certainly in labor."
Doug stayed with the kids and we went straight to the hospital. We must of got there shortly after 10pm. Labor was fast and hard. Suddenly I had to use the bathroom. I needed to sit. I was scared to. I didn't want to push the baby out thinking it was a bowel movement. I told the nurse my fears. She asked if I wanted something to make using the bathroom easier. I agreed. She gave me an enema. Trying to use the bathroom and having hard contractions was not an easy task even with the enema but boy oh boy did that ever clean my backside out. Brian, who is very sensitive to smells, could not handle the poisonous gas that was escaping from the bathroom. It was so bad he had to leave the room. Brian was out in the hallway, bending over, gagging ready to throw-up. A nurse approached him and patted him on the back, "Is this your first baby?"
"No, it's our third. My wife just used the bathroom." Brian said without looking up dry heaving. The nurse started to laugh.
We ended up moving to another room to ease my husband, and probably the nursing staff and doctors, sense of smell. I do not remember what I ate that day or the day before but it was taking its vengeance out.
The rest of the labor went smoothly as much as labor could. At 11:43pm a new Moyer entered the world. "Congratulations! It's a girl!" said the doctor.
"A girl?" Brian and I said at the same time. We both were thinking this was going to be a boy. She was going to be called James Reagan. We even called her James when she was developing in my belly. We did think of a girls name but we put that name in the back burner of our brains. For a moment we didn't remember what we agreed upon. Finally we remembered it. Ashton Kae.
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| North and South's naughty southern belle Ashton Main with Bent. |
We chose Ashton from one of our favorite books and TV series that we both enjoy, North and South by John Jakes. We both enjoy learning about the civil war and even though the character Ashton in the book was something of a not nice southern lady, we still thought the name was pretty. Kae is from Brian's mom's middle name but we changed the spelling to adapt it to a part of my maiden last name. It sounded nice together.
As soon as my sister made it back to her apartment my mom called her to let her know I was in labor. They immediatly drove back down to Allegan to the hospital to see the new baby. They arrived at a set of doors and there was a security guard sitting there in a chair. The hospital was in the middle of a make-over and there was a lot of the hospital torn up and you had to take different ways to get to certain parts of the hospital. "Are you here for the lady that was having a baby?" he asks my mom and my sister.
Bewildered that he knew that was the reason of their visit they responded, "yes, we are."
"I think she just had it. There was a lot of noise coming from that window," he points to an opening in the wall to where a window should be a few floors up, "then I just heard a baby cry."
"That must be Jill." my mom says and the guard showed them how to get to my room.
They enter the room and I was already holding Ashton. My sister looks at me, then around the room. "Do you realize there are not window's in your room?!" All I could do was laugh. The whole floor was turned around due to the renovations.
Ashton's entrance to the world was nothing short of a comedy. Personally, I like things quiet and private when I am in labor and this was so far from it. Part of me expected Candid Camera to come around the corner to let me know this portion of my life was a joke and I can redo it to the way I wanted it to happen. A week later we still ended up bringing my mom her political republician cake to her office but I also got to show off my sweet little new daughter along with it.
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| Ashton Kae just a few weeks old. |
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
A Labor Day Birth
The year was 2002 and the world had changed since my last child was born 2 year prior. There was a terrorist attack on American soil 5 months before I got the news that we were expecting our fourth child. I was two weeks shy of turning 25. American's were still glued to their tv sets learning more about why we were attacked and hearing about anthrax cases sweeping across the nation wondering what will happen next. The America we knew had changed in a moment's notice. America will never be the same again. Our children will grow up in a different world from what we were used to as kids.
We lived in Allegan, Michigan. Besides what was going on in the world we were doing good. Brian was driving for Sara Lee Bakery and was home every night. We were just starting to debate on buying our first truck and becoming an owner operator. I was attending college part time at Kalamazoo Valley Communtiy College and our oldest was in Kindergarten. Life was good and we were thrilled when we found out we were expecting another baby.
I was a part of a mom's playgroup that met once a week. We averaged about 7 to 10 moms. We would meet at different homes or at a park. Sometimes we would have field trips to a pumpkin patch or the local fire house. It was nice mingling with other stay at home mom's and talking about issues of raising children. My doctor's wife, who has a young child, also joined in on our group. She really is a sweet lady. There were times when we would talk about mistakes doctors make or how awful the delivery went of a baby. I would look over at her and smile and say in jest, "I can't say anything bad about my doctor. If I did his wife would clobber me." She took it with humor and really her husband was a fantastic doctor. They were active in church, their older children attended the same christian school my son was attending and they were very pro-family. But it did have its awkard moments. Towards the end of my pregnancy I didn't like talking about it at playgroup. I was uncomfortable talking about my appointments with his wife right there. I would think in the back of my mind, her husband has seen me where the sun doesn't shine and she KNOWS it. It was all for medical purposes but it still made it awkward. She was a registered nurse before being a stay at home mom so she was all ready to question how I was doing physically and when I was overdue if I was dilating yet. I hated to answer her.
At college I was just taking general classes. One class was Children's Literature. I felt like the people in class never seen a pregnant woman before. It was a summer class which ended a week before my due date of August 21. I was certainly showing in that class. Some of the younger girls even would ask to rub my belly and some wanted to feel the baby kick. I let them. They thought it was neat to feel the kicking but generally I do not like to be touched by people I don't know. I was certainly outside my comfort zone.
We decided to let Brian name this baby. We didn't have an ultrasound as the doctor didn't seen a need in one. For a boy Brian picked out the name James Reagan. James because it is the most used name for the presidents of the United States. There is James Madison, James Monroe, James Polk, James Buchanan, James Garfield and Jimmy Carter. The middle name Reagan was after our 40th president, Ronald Reagan. I thought the reasons of the name were ridiculous but he picked out the name so I went with it. He couldn't think of a girls name at all. I couldn't either. Brian said not to worry about it because he knew this one was going to be a boy.
Like my other children my due date came and went. Time just ticked away laughing at me as I wait and wait for labor to begin.
It was August 31, 2002. Labor Day weekend came upon us. My Aunt and Uncle came from Tulsa, Ok. to Michigan a year before and we decided to all get together, along with my mom, her husband, and my sister and her husband and children for a picnic at Little John Lake in Allegan. The weather was beautiful. We went swimming and the kids played on the playground equipment. I even was swinging on the swings feeling the freedom of the wind in my face flying back and forth. I was feeling good and having fun. Labor at this point was the farthest thing from my mind.
That night the excitment took a toll on me and I was exhausted. I retired to bed a little earlier than normal. Brian stayed awake watching tv. About 3:30am I woke up from a deep sleep doing Lamaze style breathing. Woo woo woo wooooo! Woo woo woo woooo! Woo woo woo woooo? It took me a moment to realize what I was doing. I had to think why I was breathing like that. The answer to my question quickly arrived. A heavy contraction shot around myself. Fear quickly came upon me. I let it pass. I stood up and took a few steps to our bedroom door. Another contraction. I stopped to let it pass. I looked at the stairs. Can I make it down the stairs? I called for Brian quietly as our three children were fast asleep in the room next to our room. He couldn't hear me. I had another contraction at the top of the stairs. As soon as that contraction passed I dashed down the stairs. Another contraction hit and I braced myself on the door to the stairway. I managed to make it to the livingroom and found Brian just dozing off. "BRIAN! It's time!"
He looks at me dazed and confused, "Time for what?"
"I am in labor! We need to call your mom and get to the hospital."
"I was just falling asleep." he said very sleepy.
"Well it looks like you are about to pull an all-nighter." I headed for the phone.
We call Brian's mom to come keep an eye on the kids. I called my mom to come from Grand Rapids to meet us at the hospital. I wanted her to be there for the birth. In all the commotion Beth woke up. She caught me having a contraction and got scared and started to cry. I, then, started to cry. I quickly pulled myself together and told her a new sibiling was on its way and Grandma was coming over.
We made it to Allegan General Hospital. My doctor was moving to a new house that weekend. I joked with him saying that I bet he was glad I pulled him away from the house so he doesn't have to move boxes today. He laughed and said if everything goes right he would be back home in a few hours working on it.
My mom and my sister showed up in time. Labor wasn't too bad and I got my dose of stadol to take the edge out of the pain. I was the only one on the delivery room floor that early morning. At 7:43am on September 1, 2002 a new baby entered the world. We were overly thrilled that it was a boy. We still didn't have a girls name picked out. The doctor hands James to Brian. Brian looks down at James and says, "He looks just like a little bear cub." Then his nicknamed formed - Cubby and it is still his nickname to this day.
Right after James was delivered another mom-to-be came in. The nurses told me they had to do an emergency c-section on this mom and they will be right back to assist me. I told them I understood and no problem. Brian left shortly to get back with our other children and my mom and sister left to head back to Grand Rapids. It was just James and I. I was told, from past deliveries, that when I first stand up they want the nurses there in case I get dizzy and fall or other medical reasons. So I sat there - in the same sheets I gave birth in. James was getting heavy in my arms. I was getting very tired of sitting too, not to mention I wanted clean sheets.
A few hours pass. I thought about using the call nurse button but I didn't want to disturb them in case they were still helping that other mom. I lay James between my legs and stretch way over to pull the hospital bassinet closer to me. I placed James in there. He was sleeping and happy. I needed to use the bathroom. I look over at the bathroom door. I was sure I could walk over to it. I stood up. I stayed up. All is good. I didn't want to leave James in the room all by himself so I wheeled him in with me. I came out of the bathroom and looked around. It was nice standing up. Still no nurse to come and check up on me. I look through some of the cupboards in the room. One cupboard had clean sheets in it. Praise Jesus. I took off the old bedding and made up the bed. At least I didn't feel so totally gross anymore. It wasn't until several hours later (and past lunch hour) that finally a nurse came to check on me. In my passive aggressive sort of way I showed her the soiled sheets and told her I wasn't sure where to put them. A look of shock came across her face. She looked at my chart. "Wasn't there anyone who came in here earlier?"
"No" I said in a matter of fact tone. I think she realized that they didn't even come in to check vitals or anything. She apologized and said they were all sitting in the nurses station watching tv. Somehow I didn't feel much better hearing that.
The next day we were giving the all clear to go home and I was so glad to do so. When I talked about his birth at the playgroup my doctor's wife was upset that the nurses slacked off. She said it was probably because of the Labor Day weekend and many of them probably didn't want to be there. She said I should send in a letter of complaint. I told her I wouldn't. It was done and other with and no harm was done. She said she would talk with her husband about it so he can talk with those working there that weekend. Being in the hospital room I felt like a hampster in a cage. No where to go to except from wall to wall. James was my last hospital birth.
We lived in Allegan, Michigan. Besides what was going on in the world we were doing good. Brian was driving for Sara Lee Bakery and was home every night. We were just starting to debate on buying our first truck and becoming an owner operator. I was attending college part time at Kalamazoo Valley Communtiy College and our oldest was in Kindergarten. Life was good and we were thrilled when we found out we were expecting another baby.
I was a part of a mom's playgroup that met once a week. We averaged about 7 to 10 moms. We would meet at different homes or at a park. Sometimes we would have field trips to a pumpkin patch or the local fire house. It was nice mingling with other stay at home mom's and talking about issues of raising children. My doctor's wife, who has a young child, also joined in on our group. She really is a sweet lady. There were times when we would talk about mistakes doctors make or how awful the delivery went of a baby. I would look over at her and smile and say in jest, "I can't say anything bad about my doctor. If I did his wife would clobber me." She took it with humor and really her husband was a fantastic doctor. They were active in church, their older children attended the same christian school my son was attending and they were very pro-family. But it did have its awkard moments. Towards the end of my pregnancy I didn't like talking about it at playgroup. I was uncomfortable talking about my appointments with his wife right there. I would think in the back of my mind, her husband has seen me where the sun doesn't shine and she KNOWS it. It was all for medical purposes but it still made it awkward. She was a registered nurse before being a stay at home mom so she was all ready to question how I was doing physically and when I was overdue if I was dilating yet. I hated to answer her.
At college I was just taking general classes. One class was Children's Literature. I felt like the people in class never seen a pregnant woman before. It was a summer class which ended a week before my due date of August 21. I was certainly showing in that class. Some of the younger girls even would ask to rub my belly and some wanted to feel the baby kick. I let them. They thought it was neat to feel the kicking but generally I do not like to be touched by people I don't know. I was certainly outside my comfort zone.
We decided to let Brian name this baby. We didn't have an ultrasound as the doctor didn't seen a need in one. For a boy Brian picked out the name James Reagan. James because it is the most used name for the presidents of the United States. There is James Madison, James Monroe, James Polk, James Buchanan, James Garfield and Jimmy Carter. The middle name Reagan was after our 40th president, Ronald Reagan. I thought the reasons of the name were ridiculous but he picked out the name so I went with it. He couldn't think of a girls name at all. I couldn't either. Brian said not to worry about it because he knew this one was going to be a boy.
Like my other children my due date came and went. Time just ticked away laughing at me as I wait and wait for labor to begin.
It was August 31, 2002. Labor Day weekend came upon us. My Aunt and Uncle came from Tulsa, Ok. to Michigan a year before and we decided to all get together, along with my mom, her husband, and my sister and her husband and children for a picnic at Little John Lake in Allegan. The weather was beautiful. We went swimming and the kids played on the playground equipment. I even was swinging on the swings feeling the freedom of the wind in my face flying back and forth. I was feeling good and having fun. Labor at this point was the farthest thing from my mind.
That night the excitment took a toll on me and I was exhausted. I retired to bed a little earlier than normal. Brian stayed awake watching tv. About 3:30am I woke up from a deep sleep doing Lamaze style breathing. Woo woo woo wooooo! Woo woo woo woooo! Woo woo woo woooo? It took me a moment to realize what I was doing. I had to think why I was breathing like that. The answer to my question quickly arrived. A heavy contraction shot around myself. Fear quickly came upon me. I let it pass. I stood up and took a few steps to our bedroom door. Another contraction. I stopped to let it pass. I looked at the stairs. Can I make it down the stairs? I called for Brian quietly as our three children were fast asleep in the room next to our room. He couldn't hear me. I had another contraction at the top of the stairs. As soon as that contraction passed I dashed down the stairs. Another contraction hit and I braced myself on the door to the stairway. I managed to make it to the livingroom and found Brian just dozing off. "BRIAN! It's time!"
He looks at me dazed and confused, "Time for what?"
"I am in labor! We need to call your mom and get to the hospital."
"I was just falling asleep." he said very sleepy.
"Well it looks like you are about to pull an all-nighter." I headed for the phone.
We call Brian's mom to come keep an eye on the kids. I called my mom to come from Grand Rapids to meet us at the hospital. I wanted her to be there for the birth. In all the commotion Beth woke up. She caught me having a contraction and got scared and started to cry. I, then, started to cry. I quickly pulled myself together and told her a new sibiling was on its way and Grandma was coming over.
We made it to Allegan General Hospital. My doctor was moving to a new house that weekend. I joked with him saying that I bet he was glad I pulled him away from the house so he doesn't have to move boxes today. He laughed and said if everything goes right he would be back home in a few hours working on it.
My mom and my sister showed up in time. Labor wasn't too bad and I got my dose of stadol to take the edge out of the pain. I was the only one on the delivery room floor that early morning. At 7:43am on September 1, 2002 a new baby entered the world. We were overly thrilled that it was a boy. We still didn't have a girls name picked out. The doctor hands James to Brian. Brian looks down at James and says, "He looks just like a little bear cub." Then his nicknamed formed - Cubby and it is still his nickname to this day.
Right after James was delivered another mom-to-be came in. The nurses told me they had to do an emergency c-section on this mom and they will be right back to assist me. I told them I understood and no problem. Brian left shortly to get back with our other children and my mom and sister left to head back to Grand Rapids. It was just James and I. I was told, from past deliveries, that when I first stand up they want the nurses there in case I get dizzy and fall or other medical reasons. So I sat there - in the same sheets I gave birth in. James was getting heavy in my arms. I was getting very tired of sitting too, not to mention I wanted clean sheets.
A few hours pass. I thought about using the call nurse button but I didn't want to disturb them in case they were still helping that other mom. I lay James between my legs and stretch way over to pull the hospital bassinet closer to me. I placed James in there. He was sleeping and happy. I needed to use the bathroom. I look over at the bathroom door. I was sure I could walk over to it. I stood up. I stayed up. All is good. I didn't want to leave James in the room all by himself so I wheeled him in with me. I came out of the bathroom and looked around. It was nice standing up. Still no nurse to come and check up on me. I look through some of the cupboards in the room. One cupboard had clean sheets in it. Praise Jesus. I took off the old bedding and made up the bed. At least I didn't feel so totally gross anymore. It wasn't until several hours later (and past lunch hour) that finally a nurse came to check on me. In my passive aggressive sort of way I showed her the soiled sheets and told her I wasn't sure where to put them. A look of shock came across her face. She looked at my chart. "Wasn't there anyone who came in here earlier?"
"No" I said in a matter of fact tone. I think she realized that they didn't even come in to check vitals or anything. She apologized and said they were all sitting in the nurses station watching tv. Somehow I didn't feel much better hearing that.
The next day we were giving the all clear to go home and I was so glad to do so. When I talked about his birth at the playgroup my doctor's wife was upset that the nurses slacked off. She said it was probably because of the Labor Day weekend and many of them probably didn't want to be there. She said I should send in a letter of complaint. I told her I wouldn't. It was done and other with and no harm was done. She said she would talk with her husband about it so he can talk with those working there that weekend. Being in the hospital room I felt like a hampster in a cage. No where to go to except from wall to wall. James was my last hospital birth.
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| "Cubby" James Reagan (2 months old) |
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Becoming A Mom For The First Time
It was early August in 1996 when we gazed upon the two lines on the pregnancy test that declared that we were going to have a baby. I was half way into my 19th year and Brian was half way into his 24th year when a flood of emotions filled up inside of us. Excitment, nervousness, anticipation and a tweak of fear were among the first feelings we got. Ready or not we were going to be parents.
Morning sickness was not pleasant. I felt like I was on a first name basis with our toilet. I couldn't keep anything down and even smells would send me running to the bathroom. There was a store on Merson Corners in Allegan County which sold BBQ sausages. They were a big seller among the locals and one of Brian's favorite. I walked in and came darting out to the back of the old building to reveal what I had to eat last. From then on I couldn't enter that building. Even today thinking about the smell of those sausages sends my stomach into a roller coaster ride. Brian had to go on his own to enjoy his favorite snack.
I worked at the local Family Dollar store. It was a fun place to work and I got to know some of the people in the community working there. Brian grew up in Allegan county but I was only a few months new to Allegan's country way of life. Having morning sickness and working the cashier line wasn't very pleasurable at times. That morning I had a bowl of Raisin Bran for breakfast. A woman came through the check out line with several items and lacking very much of a shower. My stomach started to turn. I couldn't open my mouth. I was using every muscle I had to keep my breakfast tamed inside of me that I couldn't even muster a smile. I had to let her know her total. I paused for a moment to gain my composure, eyes watering up and with enough courage I was able to quickly slip out a total for her purchase. I was making change and I could feel a tickle in the back of my throat. I knew it wouldn't be long before I would be bowing down to the porcelain gods again. I looked up and seen a few others in line behind her but I knew I couldn't hold it in any longer. I tossed her change down on the counter trying so hard not to be rude. I just ran to the back room making emergency eye contact with the assistant manager Evie for her to take over at the register. Right before I made it to the bathroom Mt. Jill erupted. It wasn't pretty but my stomach was thankful for releaving itself. I cleaned everything up and returned back to the cash register with blood shot watery eyes but able to have a conversation. Several customers later my nose started to burn a little bit. I grabbed a tissue and blew my nose. A lonely raisin! It was the last of my breakfast still trying to make its way out.
The rest of my pregnancy was uneventful. I loved being pregnant after the first trimester and morning sickness was over with. The feeling of life moving about inside is a indescribable experience. I almost feel sorry for the men in the world that they would never know this miraculous feeling.
Our due date was April 23. It came and went. The doctor said we could induce the next week if we wanted to. "After all, the baby is only going to get bigger." he said.
You never tell a 9 month pregnant lady about a baby getting larger. That statement sealed the deal and we were going to induce. Newborn clothes were even looking too big and I was getting very nervous as to what I was going to expect. I have heard a zillion horror stories of labor - it feels like you are on fire and you can't cool down....it is like pulling your bottom lip up over your head....it is the worse feeling in the world....women have been known to die from giving birth!!!! At this point I was beyond scared. I was comparing myself to the crash test dummies from the 1980's commercials. There was a brick wall and I was heading full force into it and it was going to be painful but there was no way to avoid it.
We arrive at Metro Hospital in Grand Rapids on April 27, 1997. I remember thinking how sick-minded I must be to purposely go to the hospital to be put into a lot of pain. Deep down I knew the grand outcome would be a baby but at that moment I could only think about labor and what to expect. We didn't take any lamaze classes nor did we have an ultrasound (as our doctor didn't see the need in one) so I really didn't know what was about to happen. My side of the family waited at home as so did Brian's side. I just wanted it to be Brian, the medical staff and myself to be in the room during the delivery.
The doctors used Prostaglandin gel to help get the labor going. He told me I couldn't move or eat anything for 4 hours when the gel has been put on. 4 hours later nothing happened. The doctor gave me another dose. I was getting very bored just lying there and nothing was happening. TV couldn't hold my attention. I was too nervous thinking about what to come. The 4 hours pass and still nothing. So the doctors put some more Prostaglandin gel in me. At this point I was hungry and thirsty and wanted to move. I was allowed ice chips but it just wasn't making me happy. At 8pm there was no sign of labor. Brian was ready to go home. The doctors insisted that we had to stay and sometimes, especially for first time moms, it takes a while. We were both tired and frustrated. They gave me another dose of Prostaglandin. Finally at midnight a dull but alarming feeling came over me. It finally arrived! Labor. Unfortunally at this point I was too tired, hungry and drained to deal with it.
For a short while the labor pains were sharp and hard. I was asked if I wanted anything for the pain or an Epidural. I have seen shows on Epidural's and the needle looks extra long and painful. I have also heard stories where if they give you the shot wrong it can paralyze you for life. I didn't want to take that chance. I was given a small dose of Stadol to take the edge off. I don't know if it was the drug or the wee morning hours combined with shere exhaustion but I was falling asleep. The nurses kept having to wake me up and telling me to breathe. She even helped me in how I was trying to breathe. They finally had to put an oxygen mask on me to get extra oxygen into my lungs. Labor really didn't seem as bad as what people have told me. I kept waiting for different stages that people would tell me I would feel and I never felt them.
The nurse told me I can do a small push so she can see how far along I was. I barely pushed when Christian's head was making its way into the world. The nurse quickly put her hands up to stop the baby from coming out and screamed for the doctor. This doctor (some other doc that was on call) came nonchalantly waltzing in eating a sandwich. He places his sandwiches down on the counter and finishes catching our baby. No longer were there movements inside of me but ahead of us layed a beautiful baby boy. A son! We had a son! Exactly at 4am in the morning we became parents to an 8 pound 11 ounce, 21 inche long bouncing baby boy!
Morning sickness was not pleasant. I felt like I was on a first name basis with our toilet. I couldn't keep anything down and even smells would send me running to the bathroom. There was a store on Merson Corners in Allegan County which sold BBQ sausages. They were a big seller among the locals and one of Brian's favorite. I walked in and came darting out to the back of the old building to reveal what I had to eat last. From then on I couldn't enter that building. Even today thinking about the smell of those sausages sends my stomach into a roller coaster ride. Brian had to go on his own to enjoy his favorite snack.
I worked at the local Family Dollar store. It was a fun place to work and I got to know some of the people in the community working there. Brian grew up in Allegan county but I was only a few months new to Allegan's country way of life. Having morning sickness and working the cashier line wasn't very pleasurable at times. That morning I had a bowl of Raisin Bran for breakfast. A woman came through the check out line with several items and lacking very much of a shower. My stomach started to turn. I couldn't open my mouth. I was using every muscle I had to keep my breakfast tamed inside of me that I couldn't even muster a smile. I had to let her know her total. I paused for a moment to gain my composure, eyes watering up and with enough courage I was able to quickly slip out a total for her purchase. I was making change and I could feel a tickle in the back of my throat. I knew it wouldn't be long before I would be bowing down to the porcelain gods again. I looked up and seen a few others in line behind her but I knew I couldn't hold it in any longer. I tossed her change down on the counter trying so hard not to be rude. I just ran to the back room making emergency eye contact with the assistant manager Evie for her to take over at the register. Right before I made it to the bathroom Mt. Jill erupted. It wasn't pretty but my stomach was thankful for releaving itself. I cleaned everything up and returned back to the cash register with blood shot watery eyes but able to have a conversation. Several customers later my nose started to burn a little bit. I grabbed a tissue and blew my nose. A lonely raisin! It was the last of my breakfast still trying to make its way out.
The rest of my pregnancy was uneventful. I loved being pregnant after the first trimester and morning sickness was over with. The feeling of life moving about inside is a indescribable experience. I almost feel sorry for the men in the world that they would never know this miraculous feeling.
 |
| I was 8 months pregnant standing at the flooded Grand River over in Johnson Park in Grandville, Mi. |
Our due date was April 23. It came and went. The doctor said we could induce the next week if we wanted to. "After all, the baby is only going to get bigger." he said.
You never tell a 9 month pregnant lady about a baby getting larger. That statement sealed the deal and we were going to induce. Newborn clothes were even looking too big and I was getting very nervous as to what I was going to expect. I have heard a zillion horror stories of labor - it feels like you are on fire and you can't cool down....it is like pulling your bottom lip up over your head....it is the worse feeling in the world....women have been known to die from giving birth!!!! At this point I was beyond scared. I was comparing myself to the crash test dummies from the 1980's commercials. There was a brick wall and I was heading full force into it and it was going to be painful but there was no way to avoid it.
We arrive at Metro Hospital in Grand Rapids on April 27, 1997. I remember thinking how sick-minded I must be to purposely go to the hospital to be put into a lot of pain. Deep down I knew the grand outcome would be a baby but at that moment I could only think about labor and what to expect. We didn't take any lamaze classes nor did we have an ultrasound (as our doctor didn't see the need in one) so I really didn't know what was about to happen. My side of the family waited at home as so did Brian's side. I just wanted it to be Brian, the medical staff and myself to be in the room during the delivery.
The doctors used Prostaglandin gel to help get the labor going. He told me I couldn't move or eat anything for 4 hours when the gel has been put on. 4 hours later nothing happened. The doctor gave me another dose. I was getting very bored just lying there and nothing was happening. TV couldn't hold my attention. I was too nervous thinking about what to come. The 4 hours pass and still nothing. So the doctors put some more Prostaglandin gel in me. At this point I was hungry and thirsty and wanted to move. I was allowed ice chips but it just wasn't making me happy. At 8pm there was no sign of labor. Brian was ready to go home. The doctors insisted that we had to stay and sometimes, especially for first time moms, it takes a while. We were both tired and frustrated. They gave me another dose of Prostaglandin. Finally at midnight a dull but alarming feeling came over me. It finally arrived! Labor. Unfortunally at this point I was too tired, hungry and drained to deal with it.
For a short while the labor pains were sharp and hard. I was asked if I wanted anything for the pain or an Epidural. I have seen shows on Epidural's and the needle looks extra long and painful. I have also heard stories where if they give you the shot wrong it can paralyze you for life. I didn't want to take that chance. I was given a small dose of Stadol to take the edge off. I don't know if it was the drug or the wee morning hours combined with shere exhaustion but I was falling asleep. The nurses kept having to wake me up and telling me to breathe. She even helped me in how I was trying to breathe. They finally had to put an oxygen mask on me to get extra oxygen into my lungs. Labor really didn't seem as bad as what people have told me. I kept waiting for different stages that people would tell me I would feel and I never felt them.
The nurse told me I can do a small push so she can see how far along I was. I barely pushed when Christian's head was making its way into the world. The nurse quickly put her hands up to stop the baby from coming out and screamed for the doctor. This doctor (some other doc that was on call) came nonchalantly waltzing in eating a sandwich. He places his sandwiches down on the counter and finishes catching our baby. No longer were there movements inside of me but ahead of us layed a beautiful baby boy. A son! We had a son! Exactly at 4am in the morning we became parents to an 8 pound 11 ounce, 21 inche long bouncing baby boy!
 |
| Christian's newborn picture |
We did the usual holding and examing our son that every parent goes through. We were thrilled yet exhausted at the same time. He was so adorable and perfect. A nurse came in and asked if we wanted our new son to sleep in our room or to go to the nursery. I said to go to the nursery in case he wakes up and I didn't. I was nervous about sleeping through in case he was hungry or cold. It was probably a good thing I said that too. Brian went to the car to get a few hours of sleep and I still layed in the same bed that I already was laying in the day before and drifted off to sleep with happy thoughts of being a mom.
Several hours later I woke up hearing my mom and her husband whispering to each other. I realized I was in the hospital and I have a new son. I quickly sat up and let them know I was awake. They apologized if they woke up me and I told them that it was alright. They wanted to see their grandson. I paged for the nurse. She enters the room and I introduce my mom to her. I ask if she can bring Christian into the room. Then she replies with a dreaded question that no new parent wants to hear, "Didn't the doctor tell you?"
I choked up a bit. Tell me? Tell me what? I was quickly freaking out inside. On the outside I tried to stay calm since she was only the messenger. "I don't think he did. What is wrong?" I could barely get the last words out of my mouth. Please God, I begged, Please let everything be okay. I didn't know if I wanted to hear what would be said next. I didn't know if I could handle it.
She replied back by saying that she will contact the doctor and have the doctor tell me. Not good! Not good! Lord Jesus, whatever happened I know you have a reason for everything and I trust you. I thought to myself. I was numb. Time froze.
What seemed like an eternity the doctor called. He apologized but said that he came in the room to talk with me and I sat up and conversed with him so he thought I was awake. I strained my memory for any bit of recall to let me know he was in my room but nothing was coming. It totally blank. I couldn't remember a thing of him being there. I was feeling horrible. A medical crisis was going on and I wasn't sound enough to remember it. Failure as a mother was quickly entering my thoughts. The doctor went on and said that while monitoring Christian he started breathing too quickly and he wasn't getting enough air so they had to put him in an oxygen text. I am sure in the medical world this wasn't a huge deal but for a young new mom this was nerve wrecking. I didn't know what to expect now. Lord, he's in your hands but you know my heart and I really want to have my son be okay. I cried.
Brian came up shortly afterwards. I told him the upsetting news. He went and talked with the nurses and seen Christian. He came back. I wanted to see Christian too. Brian didn't want me to because he was afraid that seeing him all hooked up in tubes and IV's would upset me. I gained up my composure and told him that I am his mother and he needed to hear my voice. There was no discussing it. I had to see him.
The nurse took me to him. He was in what looked like a mini fish tank. He was on his back so tiny and helpless. The tubing was distressing to see but I knew it was for the good of him. I couldn't hold him. All I could do was slip my hand up around a plastic sheet and hold his hand. His baby hand was so soft and tiny. I spoke to him and reassured him that I was there and he needed to get strong so we can go home. It was hard but I stayed with him for a while.
Before being discharged from the hosptial everyone had to sit in on a small discussion about basic baby care. I enter the class and looked around the room. Happy faces of new mothers holding their baby outlined a table. I felt all eyes stare upon me with question in their eyes as to where is that woman's baby. I just wanted to sink in a hole and let the next few hours pass by. Going around the room to introduce ourselves I explained what happened to Christian. I have to admit that I was a bit jealous that these new mom's got to show off their little darlings and I couldn't even hold mine yet. It seemed like a cruel joke.
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| Christian age 2 months |
Finally after a few days Christian was able to come out of the oxygen tent. Talking with the doctor he explained that upon a quick birth Christian inhaled some imnoitic fluid which gave him his breathing troubles. He said it was very common with babies that are quick to birth. We finally got the okay to discharge. The nurse helped us put our tiny baby into the car seat and wheeled us down to the main doors. That was our start to the Moyer family.
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