I grew up on Red Lobster. Their garlic-cheddar biscuits are a gift from God. You cannot have enough. Growing up we went there for special occasions, dates for homecoming or prom, or because it's there. My sister took me after my 8th grade year. I got a drink, thinking back it probably was a non-alcoholic strawberry daiquiri, but it was in a cute glass lighthouse. I was able to bring home the glass to keep. I used it for many years to hold pencils in on my desk. I remember my grandpa taking the whole family out and I ordered shark. I was excited on trying it but when my plate came around I quickly found that this wasn't my favorite on the seafood menu.
The Ultimate Feast soon became my favorite choice on the menu. It has a little bit of everything. Lobster tail, crab legs, grilled shrimp, scallops and toss in the baked potato for good measure. My mouth waters just thinking about it. How could anyone not like it?! It was unheard of. That is until Brian came around. Brian is mostly a meat and potato type of guy. He isn't into ethnic foods or seafoods or some porks or foods that don't have eye appeal. In his own thoughts lobsters and crabs are the cockroaches of the sea.
We drove out to the Red Lobster in Kalamazoo, Mi. I was in all my glory. I get to share my love of seafood with the love of my life. I eagerly go inside the door excited that Brian is with me. I just knew he was going to love this. The smell of the place starts to make Brian a bit oosie but like a loving man he is he still carried on for me. We got to our table and I told him he had to have the Ultimate Feast which would have a bit of this and that. He was ready to try it. The biscuits were good and the salad was pleasing. All was well. Then dinner came.
To me it all looked good but when I looked up at Brian it was like he was in a science disection class. He carefully picked up the crab legs and wondered how to eat them. He glanced up in my direction for help. My face was still beaming. He looked at the tools that came with it. They looked like it was from some evil lab. He never seen tools like that before. I showed him how to crack open the crab leg and take that tiny fork to pull some of the meat out. A little bit came out of mine. "All that work for such little meat" he comments.
He grabs his leg cracker device and cracks open a leg. Then he takes his fork and pulls some meat out. He dips it into the liquid butter on the side and slides it between his lips. I could tell he was slowly chewing it and having the meat of the crab leg take a tour around his mouth. He swallows. The moment he swallows urgency swept across his face. "Where's the bathroom?" he barely was able to get the words out.
I point off in the direction of them. He covers his mouth and gives a few dry heaves. He stands up and proceeds off in that direction as fast as he could as the crab leg was making it way back out of his mouth. He spent a few moments in the bathroom emptying his stomach. Upon his arrival back to the table he places his hand on my sholder and tells me to enjoy my meal but he is off to Wendy's and he will meet me outside when I am done. He places some money on the table for me to take care of the bill and he heads out the door.
That probably didn't go as well as I expected. I sat there in a moment of awkwardness. I couldn't let a little thing like Brian throwing up ruin my meal so I finished enjoying my dinner solo. The waitress came by and asked if all was okay and I told her that he realized he wasn't a seafood eater. I boxed up his dinner and ate that later on. He refused me to eat it when he was around. I have been in there a hand full of times since then but not with Brian. He has learned his lesson and that is not to eat something that looks like it crawled out of Dante's inferno.
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