The Homebirth Experience

     October brought a spectular show of the northern lights.  I had never seen such a view in the night sky.  It was eerie and amazing at the same time.  Brian and I watched the lights dance across the sky.  We were both moved by it.

     It was a week before Thanksgiving in the year 2004.  Brian and I moved from Allegan, Michigan to Osceola County, Michigan five months prior.  Our two oldest started attending a one room christian school 2 months ago and our third child just got out of diapers and our fourth child turned two and had no interest at that time to part from his diapers.  My husband was steadily working while I was doing the role of the stay-at-home mom.  Life was good.  This was a fresh start on a whole new chapter in our lives.  Little did I know that my chapter in life was about to change. 

     Brian looks at me and smiles.  "You have a glow about you today." he says. 

     I look at him and smile.  "I don't know why.  I'm just having a good day I guess."

     "I think you are pregnant.  You have that same glow as you had 4 other times."  He was very pleased by the thought. 

      I thought for a moment.  I have been busy getting the house ready for Thanksgiving and helping out with the kids homework that I haven't stopped to think about "mother nature's" arrival.  Nooo. I thought.  I can't be.  However something didn't happen this month.  "Okay, we will go get a test." 

      Later on that evening I took the test and right away the test showed a positive result.  I stood there, with Brian hugging me, staring at the two lines in a daze.  Thoughts flooded my mind.  Can I handle 5 children?  Would Brian be home to attend the birth?  Where is there even a hospital or a doctor to go to?  Who would watch our young children?  Would any outside family make it up to where we live in time since I have quick births?  To put it plainly, I was scared.  I told myself I just wanted to get past Thanksgiving then I will think more about it. 

     One day while picking up the kids from school I talked with the teacher to see if she can do some recommending.  She was really the only person I knew in all of Osceola County.  Out of frustration of finding out the closest hospital was about 45 minutes away and worring about what to do with the children while I give birth I said, "It would be so much easier just to have the baby at home.  I have easy labors and I know what to expect."

     "You can."  said their teacher, "I know a lady who had several children at home with the help of a midwife.  Let me find her number and I will give it to you if you are interested." 

     A few days later the teacher gave me the lady's phone number to inquire more about it.  We talked for over an hour.  She made it sound so positive and even gave me the number to her midwife.  Afterwards, I talked it over with Brian.  He wasn't too fond on the idea.  He was worried about what if something happens.  I told him I wanted to set up a meeting with the midwife first and get some more information and we will decide from there. 

     I met with Laurie of Faithful Guardians Midwifery Service.  I was able to bring my young children and she has a box of toys to help keep them entertained.  She had diagrams, charts, models of different things to expect in labor, and literature and books on homebirthing.  She was very polite and happy for us having a baby.  Right away you get this calming feeling about her.  There was not a feeling of being rushed because of other clients.  She made you feel like you were top priority.  I never got that feeling from my past doctors.  She handed me two folders.  One was about her midwife resume and literature on what to expect during a home birth.  The other folder was filled with client testamonies.  I went home and read it all.  I was excited about having a home birth.  Brian went along with the idea but was still doubtful. 

      When we told our families that I was going to homebirth they were all shocked.  They informed us that this is the 21st century and hospitals are around for a reason.  They all were concerned for the safety of me and the baby.  I think they all were thinking that I would change my mind half way through.  Homebirthing is not very common in today's American culture.  I reminded my family that homebirthing has been around since Adam and Eve and civilization has not ended because of it. 

     During our meetings I expressed to Laurie one of my concerns.  With all my children, who averaged around 7 to 8 pounds, I ripped the perineum and needed stitches.  She said she can't perform stitches but she would drive me to the hospital and help me with that if needed.  I asked her about the baby and she said our baby would stay back with daddy and her team of assistants.  She said not to worry about it and the baby would be okay and knowing that I was a home birth the doctors will get me in and out quickly.  To me the sounds of hospitals and in and out quickly are an oxymoron.  All I could do was trust her and pray. 

     A few months go by and we decided to get an ultrasound.  We discovered we were going to have a boy.  We were not rooting one way or the other.  We already had 2 pairs and this one would make a full house.  Now for a name.  We both love genealogies so it was easy to decided that our baby will have a family name.  Brian wanted Sheldon after his grandfather.  I put my foot quickly down on that one.  It was nothing against his grandfather but it was the name.  I have seen one too many times the movie "When Harry Met Sally" staring Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan.   Note the part from 7:35 to 8:17.  Everytime I hear the name Sheldon I think of this scene and I just couldn't name my child that.  Our next choice was Ole after Sheldon's dad.  Nope.  That didn't work either.  The kids started dancing around singing, "It's rolie polie ole" after a cartoon show on the Disney channel.  Nope!  That name is out too.  So we look another generation back and came across Halvor.  Halvor was the father of Ole and was born in Norway.  He immigrated to North Dakota and farmed there.  I couldn't argue against it except that it was a name people don't hear at all.  The name Halvor even means rock - protector.  After a while the name grew on me and I liked it.  I wanted a different middle name than the great great grandfather but I wanted it to sound good.  After more weeks of debating we came upon it.  Quinn.  Quinn means five.  He was going to be our fifth child born in 2005.  It was perfect.

     Our due date of July 22 came and went.  After the due date there is no telling when the baby will arrive.  It could be at any time.  I was very uncomfortable but that should be expected.  We were all set to have the homebirth.  I just needed the labor to get things started.  I read up on a lot of material in preparation of home birthing.  Some of the points I remember was picturing each contraction like a hug you are giving your baby.  Relax your body and breathe through the contractions.  Each contraction is opening you up more and more to make delivery easier.  I was ready for action.

     It was August 4.  The fair was in town and it was rainy.  We walked around the barns but the rides were too wet due to the on/off rain.  Disappointed we decided to go home.  I heard an advertisment on the radio about the Clare County Fair in the next county to the east.  After some relaxing we decided to go check things out there.  The rides were closed because of the rain.  More disappointment.  We walked around again and seen their barns.  Driving back the rain stopped and we decided to head back to the Osceola County Fair.  The rides dried off and the midway was busy with people.  We purchased the kids their wristbands so they can ride as many rides as they can.  It was fun watching them all on the different rides.  It was getting dark and the magic of the carnival lights illuminated the sky.  Brian went to take Ashton and Beth on a kiddie ride while Christian wanted to ride The Zipper.  I stood there with James in the stroller watching Christian spin around and up and down on the ride.  Then it hit.  Contraction!  I gripped the handle of the stroller a bit harder and held my breath.  This was it.  Halvor wanted to come out.  I look at the ride zipping along above me.  What do I do?  I thought, Do I have them stop the ride?  Do I let Christian finish the ride?  Where was Brian?  Do I leave Christian on the ride and search for Brian?  Can I even walk to search for Brian?  Then another contraction hit.  I froze.  After a short time and what seemed like three contractions later the ride stopped and Christian got off.  I was firm but quiet with Christian.  I told him we had to find Daddy right away.  We started off to find Brian when he came and met up with us with our happy daughters at his side.  I gave him "the look" and told him we needed to get home NOW!  He asked me if I wanted to stay in the midway and he will pull the van up and around.  I didn't want to create a scene so I told him I would walk with him to the van.  We had to stop several times for contractions to pass but we made it to the van.  I called Laurie and she said she was on her way to our house.  I started crying for fear and excitment at the same time.  She was reassuring that everything is going to be alright.  We got home and Brian told the young ones to head upstairs for bed and he would even bring his tv from his semi upstairs for them to watch tv.  I think the rides at the fair exhausted them because they fell asleep immediately.  Brian called his sister to come over to help with the kids in case they woke up. 

The night I was in labor, 13 days overdue.

     I put on a comfortable dress to give birth in and helped Brian get our birthing kit ready.  One of the assistants who lives close by arrived first.  She helped time the contractions.  Even though this was our fifth baby I could never figure out how to time contractions.  I just knew they were coming often.  I went and used the bathroom.  Looking around I felt so comfortable seeing my bathroom floor, my toilet, and my sink.  The midwife and her team were there for me unlike doctors at the hospital who would come in every once in a while and impossible to get a hold of in between their stop-bys. 

An assistant writing down notes on my labor.

      With my other children I had used stadol to take the edge off of the contractions.  This time there would be nothing to take the edge off.  I had to keep reminding myself to relax and pay attention to my body.  I need to take things at a contraction at a time.  The room was only lit by a small lamp in the corner.  I liked having the darkness around me.  It helped me concentrate more on what my body was doing.  I could feel my body entering the different stages of labor.  As the contractions were getting longer I would start off by saying, "Owie, Owie, Owie, Owieeeeeeeeeeeee, " peak of the contraction hits the starts to taper off, " eeeee i eeee i ooooooo."  Yes, I sounded like a bad version of Old MacDonald Had A Farm but it was funny to me.  Humor was taking my mind off the pain.  It was noted down that at 12:23 I started singing (in tune to She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes), "He'll be coming around the birth canal when he comes..." 

Halvor Quinn 10 lbs 2oz 22.6 inches long

     Brian was at my side the whole time.  I mostly stayed on my side curled up.  This was our bed I was in, our room and our sheets.  I never imagined how relaxed I could be during labor.  I didn't have the tv on or the radio.  It was me singing badly while others listened.  Warm olive oil compresses were placed on my perineum to help stretch it out and make delivery easier.  It was time to start pushing.  After only a few pushes Halvor Quinn entered the world at 12:35am on August 5.  Our fifth child, born on the fifth of August in 2005.  Yes, Quinn does fit for his middle name.  

Brian holding Halvor

     My first few thought of Halvor wasn't the traditional awww.  I first glanced at his head and noticed his ears were tightly pressed against his head.  His ears are deformed!  Poor litle guy.   I didn't say anything.  The midwife must know.  There isn't anything she can do about his ears.  Other than that he was simply adorable.  Little did we know then that the ears were just pushed back to his head from the birth.  The next morning his ears popped out just like the New Year Baby.  Laurie looked Halvor over and weighed and measured him.  He was 10 pounds 2 ounces and 22.6 inches long.  TEN POUNDS!  We were shocked.  I asked Laurie if I ripped.  I was expecting her to say yes but she said not at all.  I was even more shocked.  The hot oil compresses did the trick.  Out of my 4 previous labors this was one of the easiest and it was done drug free and Halvor was my biggest.  Brian, who was doubtful at first about homebirths, thought the whole procedure went smoothly and was glad that we did it.                                                
                                                                        

    

Halvor getting dressed for the first time.

    









Brian puts his hand on my shoulder, "My sister is here and wants to see the baby.  Do you want visitors?"

     Shocked that I didn't even hear Teresa come to the house,"Of course.  She can see Halvor."  I straightened up myself to look somewhat presentable.  Entering the room was Teresa, her husband Mike and our 15 year old niece Chelsea.  Chelsea, who is Brian's brother's daughter, was spending the night with her Aunt Teresa's that night and came along.  A replay of the entire night flashed before my eyes and the uncomfortable noises I was making plus my awful singing.  I looked up at Chelsea, "I am so sorry you had to hear that." I sheepishly said. 

     "There is one thing I learned."  she paused, "when I have a baby I want drugs."  We all laughed. 

     The next morning was an experience I would never get at the hospital.  Brian didn't want to distrub me so he camped out on the couch.  In the wee morning hours almost 3 year old James came into the bedroom and fell asleep on the other side of me not realized that his new baby brother was sleeping on the other side of me.  A few hours later Ashton comes into our bedroom and lays down.  Halvor soon wakes up for a feeding.  Ashton pops her head up and looks over in shock,"A BABY?"

   "Yes, your new baby brother has arrived."  Ashton looked in amazement.  James quickly shot up and looked over and gazed at Halvor. 

     "I need to tell the others."  She runs out the room and dashes up the stairs.

     In record breaking time I heard little footsteps pounding on the steps making their way into our room.  Christian, Elizabeth, James and Ashton gather around our bed examining their new baby brother.  We counted his fingers and his toes.  They gently patted his thin smooth hair.  They watched as I changed his diaper.  They look and seen this creamy white chunk of flesh-looking piece sticking out of  where Halvor's belly button should be.  I had to explain that what they seen was his umbilical cord.  They looked further down into the diaper.  Thick,goopie, tar-like substance filled the diaper.  The kids cringed at the sight of it followed by, "Ewwwww".  It was that moment of having all the children surrounded on our bed was like the cherry on top of the sundae.  It made the whole birthing process that much more worth it. 

I am holding Halvor with Ashton (age 4)

     I got up and got a load of laundry going and start fixing breakfast for the kids, something I couldn't have done in  the hospital.  It was nice out and I decided to hang the laundry up on the line.  While doing so Laurie, my midwife, swings by to check on us.  She was happy to see me walking about with ease and Halvor was doing good. 



     Halvor fit perfectly in our family.  All the fears and worries I had when I first found out I was expecting had vanished.  He completed our family and was the first of the Moyer  to be homebirthed in our household. 

clockwise Halvor, Elizabeth (6), James (soon to turn 3),
Ashton (4) and Christian (7)

Our 5th born.