The Sheltered Cove

     It was Emily's favorite spot to go to when she needed time to relax and find herself again.  She would paddle herself across the river and into a cove that was tucked away behind huge weeping willows.  This was her Eden.  No one knew of this place but her.  She discovered it several years ago when she was trying to fight her way upstream back to where her cabin is located.  She pulled along side the river bank near the weeping willows for a short rest.  Behind her a ways she heard a faint rippling sound of the water as it spilled over into the small cove.  The water was knee deep throughout but super clear.  Fish could be spotted dancing about under the water.  The birds played a musical symphony in the trees.  On rare occasions when Emily would enter the cove she would find some random animal taking a drink of the water.  Emily would try to be as quiet as she could entering the cove so she didn't disturb the animals.  They would soon hear the water break against the rowboat and they would get scared and scamper away into the woods.
    
     One day she needed to escape life for a while and she found her way back into this cove and pulled her boat ashore.  She laid down on the sandy shore and watch the clouds form into different shapes above her.  The sun beamed down upon her soft face and warmed it.  She would tuck her hands under her head as she would just gaze upwards to the sky.  No thoughts entered her mind.  She was just there, in the moment, taking in the beautiful summer day. 

     She knew of a wild strawberry patch nearby in the woods and remembered that she brought a bucket so she could pick some and bring them home.  She rises up and walks back over to the boat that was still tied up to a birch tree nearby to grab her bucket.  A loud snapping sounded behind her.  Her head shot up and looked around.  She didn't see anything.  While still looking around her fingers were able to locate the handle on the bucket.  It was probably an animal. She thought to herself.  The cove was too peaceful of a place for her to be afraid of.  She walked off in search for the wild strawberries. 

     She lost track of time and came back to the cove close to when the sun was setting.  She quickly went over to the boat and tossed in her bucket filled with strawberries.  She went over to the tree and undid the knot in the rope so she can set her boat free again.  As she was messing with the knot something caught her attention under the willow trees.  There, near the base of the trunk, laid an oval package.  It had floral wrapping paper and with a blue ribbon and bow.  She stared at it for a moment as if it were to transform into something else.  She looked around but no one was there.  Her hands froze over the knot.  She wasn't sure what to do.  No one knew about this cove.  Or so she thought.  But who would be leaving gifts?  Was it even for her? 

     She walked over to the package.  On it was a note.  It said: "To the lady of the cove."  She picked it up.  It was very light.  She looked around again in hopes of seeing who left the package but there was no one around.  It was silent.  The birds had stopped singing their song and she failed to notice that until now.  Emily looked down at the package and thought for a moment and smiled.  She sat down near the trunk of the willow and started to remove the blue ribbon.  It had a lovely velvet texture to it.  She rubbed the ribbon between her fingers for a moment.  It had to be expensive.  You cannot buy ribbon like that around these parts.  She looked up at the sun starting to tuck itself away under the trees.  She had to hurry.  She pulled the ribbon and it unraveled off the box.  She lifted the lid and there was a beautiful sun hat.  It was white with black lace trim above the brim of the hat.  Pink camellia flowers with baby's breath were arraigned neatly around the hat.  The black lace even hung off the back of the hat with the pink camellia flower ending off the ribbon.  Emily gasped at the beauty of the hat.  She tried it on and felt it upon her head.  It was a perfect fit.  She quickly packed the hat back into the box and put the lid on.  She placed the package next to the strawberries in the boat and untied the boat.  She made her way out of the cove and she started to head for shore.  But someone, still on the cove, was watching her leave. 

Terror Of The Great Pumpkin

     Growing up in the late 1970's and early 1980's there was one show everyone looked forward to watching around Halloween and that was "It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown."  This was a time before VCR's became popular and DVD's/DVR's were unheard of.  Having cable was rare as majority of American's still watched 3 to 4 stations on TV.  There was only one time to watch "It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" and that was a special on one of the local stations.  If a person ended up missing the show they had to wait until next year to view it.  Families would invite other families over to watch it, pop up some popcorn, stir up some Kool-Aid and settle in to watch it. 

   

     Everyone knew the story behind the Great Pumpkin.  The Great Pumpkin is supposed to rise up from a pumpkin patch bringing toys to children who believed in him.  Linus tried desperately to have his pumpkin patch be the chosen patch for the Great Pumpkin to visit.  Sadly, he misses out on Halloween and the Great Pumpkin never did visit his patch.  I think as children we anticipated the Great Pumpkin coming to Linus' pumpkin patch to fulfill his belief's on the Great Pumpkin even though we really knew what the ending would be.

     I must of been around 4 years old.  That would be the Halloween of 1981.  My mom was putting up Halloween decorations around the house while my siblings were at school.  I was in the bathtub happily splashing about without a care to the world.  Suddenly I hear a sound coming from the opened bathroom door, "Hello sweetie, It's the Great Pumpkin."  the voice said in eerie tone.  Walking through the door was this squatty jack-o-lantern with an evil grin.  The eyes were midnight black triangles that were beaming right into my soul.  The pumpkin had green ivy curled up around the brown stem on top.  There was nothing friendly about this jack-o-lantern.

     I screamed in terror.  If the neighbors could of heard me they would of thought I was being hacked to death.  I tried to shimmy up the side of the bathtub to distance myself from the horror that was before my young eyes. 

     My mother, who was crouched behind our front door, heavy plastic, jack-o-lantern decoration, was trying to have fun and really did not expect the reaction that I gave.  She must of thought I was only startled as she continued on with her Great Pumpkin escapade.  "Jill, it is me.  I am the Great Pumpkin.  You don't need to be afraid of me."  she says with a tone still eerie to young ears.  She waddled behind the pumpkin right up to the edge of the tub. 

     I shrieked in freight.  Tears were pouring from my eyes.  My back was up against the wall of the tub and I couldn't escape.  I was stuck there with this evil pumpkin face staring back at me.   My mom must of realized that I really wasn't enjoying the whole Great Pumpkin visiting me during my bath time idea she had of hers.  She popped out from behind the Great Pumpkin to show me it was her behind it.  I was shaking, cold and wet.  My mom left the room with the great pumpkin and came back to help me out of the tub.  She showed me that it was a decoration up on the door and there wasn't anything to be afraid of.  She told me the jack-o-lantern is happy and smiling.  I thought it was more of a maniacal evil grin.  As an adult I can see there is nothing to fear but as a 4 year old little girl I just seen that jack-o-lantern come to life. 

I Didn't Do It ~ A Collection of Car Accidents

     Most people have probably experienced a few minor fender benders in their lifetime.  Sometimes a more serious accident can occur.  Sometimes an animal can jump out in front doing damage to the car.  Accidents can happen anytime and anywhere.  It just takes a split second to alter someone's life forever.  Luckily I have never been in a major accident.  The few that I have been in have been really minor.  The largest animal that has crossed my path has been a raccoon.  The raccoon has done some minor damage to my car and I was thankful the tires to my vehicle took its revenge. 

    In my first accident good ol' Murphy was looming nearby.  I was 16 in the year of 1993 and received my license a few months before.  I have been driving for some time before that as friends would let me drive their car.  A guy that I was dating at the time and I wanted to do a little shopping.  There was a Family Dollar Store on the other side of town, probably not on the best side of town, that I liked going to.  My mom gave me strict instructions not to go on the other side of town and to stick on our side of the Saginaw River.  I had the guy I was dating drive my mom's 1988 Cadillac Eldorado.  That was another rule I was breaking that day.  No one except immediate family was supposed to drive that car.  He pulls into the strip mall parking lot and drives slowly down the main aisle.  A lady who was not paying attention comes flying down one of the side aisles and T-bones the side of the Cadillac.  A huge dent appeared in the side of the car.  I felt doomed.  Here I was in a place I wasn't supposed to be, with someone else driving the car and someone runs into me.  Needless to say I was grounded for a long time.

     Two years had passed.  During that time we moved to Grandville.  I was driving down Chicago Drive, with the same car as the previous accident, approaching the intersection of Wilson.  There were a line cars in the right lane.  I was in the left lane slowing down my speed to stop at the red light.  A car in the right lane became inpatient and tried to steer into the left lane.  He didn't look around before he made the maneuver because as he pulled out he rammed into the front right side of the Cadillac.  The light cracked and there was damage all the way up to the door.  The officer who came on the scene afterwards finished pulling off the trim off the wheel well cutting his hand.  The other driver was cited for the accident.  The Cadillac, again, had to be shipped off to the shop to get fixed. 

     That winter I was attending college at Grand Valley State University.  I was driving through the campus one evening heading back to my dorm at Kistler Hall.  I was stopping at every crosswalk letting students pass by.  I look up in my rearview mirror and seen a plow truck, which is plow raised, coming right at me.  His speed wasn't slowing.  I looked ahead of me and watched the students walking in front of the Cadillac.  I couldn't move.  I closed my eyes and pressed harder on the break.  SMASH!  The car lurched forward.  The students in front of the car jumped out of the way.  I put the car into park and stepped outside.  The driver of the plow truck put his truck in reverse a bit and stepped out of the truck.  We both met behind the car to examine the damage.  Amazingly there was none.  Those who witnessed the accident even had to look.  They were impressed that there wasn't even a ding on the bumper.  We resumed on our way and I pulled into the parking lot near my dorm.  The plow truck followed me.  I was nervous as he already told me that he was watching other students and wasn't paying attention to the road.  I didn't want him behind me again in case something else catches his eyes.  I found my way to a parking spot and he parked the truck right behind the Cadillac.  He got out of the vehicle.  He told me he had to look again at my bumper and he was shocked that there wasn't any damage.  He even admitted that he hit me rather hard too.  I told him I could feel how hard he hit me. 

     The last accident I got into happened when I wasn't even in the vehicle.  It was late in the year of 2005.  I just dropped Christian, Elizabeth, and Ashton off to a private school they attended in Reed City.  James was 3 years old and I had Halvor who was about 3 or 4 months old.  Snow had fallen early that morning making things slick.  A plow truck was shaving off the layer of snow and pushing it off to the side. I pulled into the local grocery store and parked up front.  I was walking up to the doors when I had a feeling to turn around.  As I did I noticed a car traveling towards my car.  I looked at the wheels and I noticed they were not spinning.  The car kept moving.  All I could do was shake my head in disbelief as I watch her crash into the back side of our Plymouth Voyager.  She did a great deal of damage to it.  I head back to the van and place the boys back into their car seats.  We exchange driver information.  She was very apologetic.  I remember thinking that she shouldn't apologize when in an accident because it proves she was a fault, even if she is at fault.  I reassured her that I wasn't upset and I clearly seen that the weather played a factor to the incident.  Her insurance ended up paying for the repair to my van even the co-pay. 

     I haven't had an accident since then.

Sursumdeorsumphobia

     By the title of this weeks blog you can guess that I am writing about a phobia or a fear that I have.  The first part of the word may seem a bit confusing.  In Latin, sursum means up and deorsum means down.  So together sursumderosumphobia means fear of traveling up and down.  In layman's terms I have a fear of elevators. 

     I am not afraid of heights.  In fact I love traveling in an airplane (although my last airplane ride was in the spring of 1996 to Las Vegas) and seeing how beautiful the world appears in a bird's eye view.  I can look over a tall hilly landscape and be mesmerized by the surrounding view.  I am not afraid of tight, closed-in spaces.  I don't seem to mind it in a bit.  However elevators, after so many floors, makes my heart race, my breath to cease, and my head to spin. 

     I can probably trace my fear back to elementary school where in reading class we had to read SRA (Science Research Associates) stories that were color coded to our reading level.  My reading level was in a rose colored section which meant I was an average reader.  We would have to read so many stories, like 15 or 20, and answer questions about the story, then we could move up to the next color and set of stories.  This one particular story had to deal with an elevator operator who died when his elevator plunged down some skyscraper killing him.  On the eve of the anniversary of his death the ghost of the elevator operator reappears and recreating the tragic event.  Sometimes he takes victims with him in his recreated event.  People can hear the screams and the sound of the elevator swooshing through the vertical corridor as it makes its way to the bottom.  I must of been in the first or second grade when I read this and it scared the daylights out of me.  The hand drawn picture that was on my SRA story card was spooky enough.  Chills ran up and down my spine and I read it.  I don't think it was the ghost part of the story that scared me.  It was the realization at such a tender age that elevators, and their cables, could break causing the elevator to soar to the bottom of the building.  Thankfully I didn't have to go into elevator's that much. 

     Now I can handle going into an elevator one or two floors with no problem.  I figure I have a better chance of survival from a lower height in case something does go wrong.  Also, being closer to the ground if the elevator does plummet it would be a shorter fall time-wise.  I probably won't have time to think about what just had happened.  If I am 20+ stories high then I am going to have a moment to think, "Oh crap!  I am falling to my death in a tin box!"  I wouldn't want my last thoughts to be like that.

     I never realized how bad my fear was until my senior class trip in high school.  We went to Chicago and visited the Sears Tower, or what is now called the Willis Tower.  It was the tallest building in the world from 1973 to 1998.  It beat out the first World Trade Tower and was finally surpassed by the Petronas Twin Towers.  The observation deck in on the 103rd floor of the building.  An elevator can go from the ground floor to the 103rd floor in around a minute time.  It is so fast that people can feel the pressure change as they go up. 

     Outside of the building I remember looking up, straight up, to see the height of where we were going.  If I am ascending to the near the top of the tower in 60 seconds then how quickly would I be descending if the cables broke?  How strong are the cables?  Are the cables getting overused and worn down and going to snap during my rise to the top?  These thoughts flooded my mind. 

     Our teacher ushered us inside and made our way through the zigzag of ropes and video stations of how the Sears Tower was made.  Watching that only strengthened my fear.  We neared the elevators.  A fear like I had never known swept across me.  I begged my teacher for me to stay back.  He wouldn't let me.  I was forced to go.  I tried not to make a huge scene as I pleaded with the teacher that I could not do this.  He didn't care.  He couldn't let a student stay behind.  I understand his point of view but how I wished there was an adult that would have stayed back with me.  Several of my classmates and I crowded into an elevator.  The doors shut.  My eyes closed.  I was near the side wall holding on to a railing.  I had to remind myself to exhale slowly.  I could feel the elevator starting to rise.  The other students were having fun whooping it up with the feeling.  Some thought it was fun trying to jump in the elevator.  I could feel the elevator starting to sway and shake a bit.  I couldn't tell if it was from the students or if it is was normal for the elevator to move like that.  I crouched down on the ground still holding onto the bar for dear life.  I started screaming, "MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!  I WANT TO GET OFF!"  Tears started to trickle down my face.  I didn't care anymore about not making a scene.  I was beyond petrified.   Finally the elevator stopped.  I couldn't breathe.  The elevator moved down slightly to adjust itself.  When I felt that downward motion I believed that the elevator was ready to make its way careening downward and I was preparing myself to be lifted off the ground due to the fall.  I did manage to find enough to breath to shout out, "WHY DID WE STOP?  WHAT'S GOING ON?  WHAT'S WRONG?!"

     The doors opened.  The students happily made their way out of the elevator and onto the observation deck.  I literally crawled on my hands and knees out of the elevator.  I was so happy to be out of the can of death.  My legs were so numb and weak they couldn't support me.  I crawled my way to a bench and pulled myself up to a sitting position.  I sat there for a moment while my body regained feeling and I was able to breathe again. 

     The view was stunning.  On all sides of the  building we could see forever.  While looking around the different windows my eyes kept shifting around looking for an exit with a stair sign.  I couldn't get truly comfortable because I knew we would have to be going back down the elevator.  DOWN!  I even asked the teacher if I could take the stairs and he laughed and said the stairs don't go that high.  I didn't know whether to believe him or not and he probably thought I was joking.  I really wasn't joking.  I needed those stairs.  I really didn't think my body would let me enter the elevator again. 

     The time passed to quickly and we had to enter the elevator.  I found my position against the wall snuggling up against the bar that wrapped around the elevator.  I knew if the elevator were to fall nothing, not even the bar, was going to save me yet grabbing it gave me a sense of control.  Like normal students they had their fun jumping up and down as we descended towards the bottom.  I scrunched down towards the bottom of the elevator murmuring under my breath, "Please, God, Please, God. Please, God!"  Finally we were at ground level and the doors opened.  I was so happy to be out of there. 

     About two years later my husband and I took a trip to Chicago with our infant son.  Brian wanted to go up the Sears Tower.  I didn't think I could do it again but I told myself I am a mom and I need to find the strength to go up to the top with my husband and son.  It took every ounce of prayer to get me to the top but we did it.  I was numb from doing it and my husband realized how much of a fear I have with elevators.  We went back just after the birth of our third child in 2000.  Brian wanted to go back up the tower but I physically couldn't handle doing that again.  The fearless mommy superpower that I thought all mother obtained somehow passed me by.  I was able to do it with my first born but as I got older I think the fear grew more inside of me and I could not do it. 

     One time my mother treated her children and in-laws out to a fancy restaurant in Grand Rapids.  I am not exactly sure where we were at but we took one elevator upwards to view the lights of Grand Rapids.  I was a little nervous going up high but I knew it wasn't like the Sears Tower.  Going down we took a different set of elevators.  This elevator had glass on the outside so you could fully see outside.  I totally freaked out demanding that the elevator stopped and that I needed to get off.  My family never knew this fear in me before and was totally shocked by my behavior, especially sense I was a grown woman.  I apologized for my behavior when we reached the bottom as I didn't even expect to react the way that I did.  It just happened.  I had no control over the fear I was facing. 

     Last year when my mother-in-law passed away she was up on the seventh floor of the hospital.  My husband asked me if I was able to handle it or if I would rather take the stairs.  I wanted to take the stairs but time was our enemy and we had to reach the seventh floor quickly.  I entered the elevator and took a deep breath.  My husband would try to crack a joke to help calm me down and relax me.  Mentally I would try to displace where I was at and not think about the elevator cables breaking and the elevator falling to the bottom.  Maybe it was the realization that I was in a hospital and if anything were to happen to the elevator that would probably be the best place for it to happen especially with medical staff being right there. 

     Elevator accidents do happen.  The Census of Fatal Occupational Injuries reports about 20 deaths per year related to elevators.  Most deaths that do occur are mostly due to maintenance workers working on the elevators or careless reckless errors due to elevator riders. 
The link below recaps 10 terrible elevator accidents.  Perhaps after reading some you may find yourself suffering a bit from sursumdeorsumphobia.
http://listverse.com/2011/12/23/10-tragic-elevator-accidents/
     

The Impact of Salem's Lot

     I was young at age, probably around 7 years old.  I was at the mercy of my older sister, who was 7 years my senior, while my mom went off to evening college classes.  One evening she put in a movie in the VCR and popped up some popcorn and we sat around the TV to watch the show.  I wasn't sure what movie it was, at the time.  I was happy to be spending this quality time with my sister whom I looked up to. 

     This wasn't a family friendly movie at all.  We were watching Steven King's Salem's Lot.  I don't remember much of the movie.  I remember children being in the movie, especially a boy.  One scene a boy laid in bed and he looked out of what would be glass doors to a patio or a porch.  A type of green faced, human-demonistic creature came up to the windows in a mist and tried scratching at the window (or door) for the boy to open it up.  I think I hid my face in a pillow at that part because I don't remember what happened next.  I remember asking my sister what happened to the children or the parents and she told me that they turned into ghosts and floated into the walls of the house. 

     My details of the movie may have been vague as I was a young child watching this.  Salem's Lot was probably my first horror movie that I watched.  I have seen others throughout my lifetime but none had left such an eerie impression upon my life.  After that when my sister had to watch me she would find it amusing by telling me that the creatures were outside ready to get me.  She would have my older brother hide outside my window and knock at it making me think the creature was actually there.  To make me stay in bed she would tell me if I got out of bed the creature would get me.  In terror I would hide under the covers, as if the covers had some magical protection powers of their own, and refuse to come out of the bed.  I wouldn't even dare to stick my hand or foot over the bed's edge in case the creatures would pull me under the bed and devour me.  When my sister would be in a real playful mood she would go into the other room and scream like she was being attacked and I would freeze in horror on my bed with the door shut praying the morning would soon come and mom would be there giving comfort to the home. 

     For the longest time I couldn't look out the window at night.  I still find it difficult to do so.  When I walk around the house my eyes avoid the window's in fear of finding a face staring back at me.  I have become so used to not looking at a window at night that I don't have to remind myself not to look.  It just comes naturally. 

     I flat out refuse to watch that movie ever again.  My sister will call me and tell me when it is playing on a certain channel to tease me.  That fear and terror that was inside of me was too intense to ever want those feelings again.  I have watched other horror movies growing up but none has left such an effect on me.  But I am going to overcome my fear.  Just today, actually, I stopped at a yard sale and they had the Salem's Lot movie.  I purchased it.  Thirty years later I am sure I will look at the movie differently.  I probably will realize that the movie really isn't all that scary and it is probably cheesy with the old film technology.  I just need the courage and the endurance to watch it.