Becoming A Mom For The First Time

     It was early August in 1996 when we gazed upon the two lines on the pregnancy test that declared that we were going to have a baby.  I was half way into my 19th year and Brian was half way into his 24th year when a flood of emotions filled up inside of us.  Excitment, nervousness, anticipation and a tweak of fear were among the first feelings we got.  Ready or not we were going to be parents. 

     Morning sickness was not pleasant.  I felt like I was on a first name basis with our toilet.  I couldn't keep anything down and even smells would send me running to the bathroom.  There was a store on Merson Corners in Allegan County which sold BBQ sausages.  They were a big seller among the locals and one of Brian's favorite.  I walked in and came darting out to the back of the old building to reveal what I had to eat last.  From then on I couldn't enter that building.  Even today thinking about the smell of those sausages sends my stomach into a roller coaster ride.  Brian had to go on his own to enjoy his favorite snack. 

     I worked at the local Family Dollar store.  It was a fun place to work and I got to know some of the people in the community working there.  Brian grew up in Allegan county but I was only a few months new to Allegan's country way of life.  Having morning sickness and working the cashier line wasn't very pleasurable at times.  That morning I had a bowl of Raisin Bran for breakfast.  A woman came through the check out line with several items and lacking very much of a shower.  My stomach started to turn.  I couldn't open my mouth.  I was using every muscle I had to keep my breakfast tamed inside of me that I couldn't even muster a smile.  I had to let her know her total.  I paused for a moment to gain my composure, eyes watering up and with enough courage I was able to quickly slip out a total for her purchase.  I was making change and I could feel a tickle in the back of my throat.  I knew it wouldn't be long before I would be bowing down to the porcelain gods again.  I looked up and seen a few others in line behind her but I knew I couldn't hold it in any longer.  I tossed her change down on the counter trying so hard not to be rude.  I just ran to the back room making emergency eye contact with the assistant manager Evie for her to take over at the register.  Right before I made it to the bathroom Mt. Jill erupted.  It wasn't pretty but my stomach was thankful for releaving itself.  I cleaned everything up and returned back to the cash register with blood shot watery eyes but able to have a conversation.  Several customers later my nose started to burn a little bit.  I grabbed a tissue and blew my nose.  A lonely raisin!  It was the last of my breakfast still trying to make its way out. 

     The rest of my pregnancy was uneventful.   I loved being pregnant after the first trimester and morning sickness was over with.  The feeling of life moving about inside is a indescribable experience.  I almost feel sorry for the men in the world that they would never know this miraculous feeling. 



I was 8 months pregnant standing at the flooded Grand River over in Johnson Park in Grandville, Mi.





     Our due date was April 23.  It came and went.  The doctor said we could induce the next week if we wanted to.  "After all, the baby is only going to get bigger."  he said. 

     You never tell a 9 month pregnant lady about a baby getting larger.  That statement sealed the deal and we were going to induce.  Newborn clothes were even looking too big and I was getting very nervous as to what I was going to expect.  I have heard a zillion horror stories of labor - it feels like you are on fire and you can't cool down....it is like pulling your bottom lip up over your head....it is the worse feeling in the world....women have been known to die from giving birth!!!!  At this point I was beyond scared.  I was comparing myself to the crash test dummies from the 1980's commercials.  There was a brick wall and I was heading full force into it and it was going to be painful but there was no way to avoid it. 

     We arrive at Metro Hospital in Grand Rapids on April 27, 1997.  I remember thinking how sick-minded I must be to purposely go to the hospital to be put into a lot of pain.  Deep down I knew the grand outcome would be a baby but at that moment I could only think about labor and what to expect.  We didn't take any lamaze classes nor did we have an ultrasound (as our doctor didn't see the need in one) so I really didn't know what was about to happen.  My side of the family waited at home as so did Brian's side.  I just wanted it to be Brian, the medical staff and myself to be in the room during the delivery. 

     The doctors used Prostaglandin gel to help get the labor going.  He told me I couldn't move or eat anything for 4 hours when the gel has been put on.  4 hours later nothing happened.  The doctor gave me another dose.  I was getting very bored just lying there and nothing was happening.  TV couldn't hold my attention.  I was too nervous thinking about what to come.  The 4 hours pass and still nothing.  So the doctors put some more Prostaglandin gel in me.  At this point I was hungry and thirsty and wanted to move.  I was allowed ice chips but it just wasn't making me happy.  At 8pm there was no sign of labor.  Brian was ready to go home.  The doctors insisted that we had to stay and sometimes, especially for first time moms, it takes a while.  We were both tired and frustrated.  They gave me another dose of Prostaglandin.  Finally at midnight a dull but alarming feeling came over me.  It finally arrived!  Labor.  Unfortunally at this point I was too tired, hungry and drained to deal with it. 

     For a short while the labor pains were sharp and hard.  I was asked if I wanted anything for the pain or an Epidural.  I have seen shows on Epidural's and the needle looks extra long and painful.  I have also heard stories where if they give you the shot wrong it can paralyze you for life.  I didn't want to take that chance.  I was given a small dose of Stadol to take the edge off.  I don't know if it was the drug or the wee morning hours combined with shere exhaustion but I was falling asleep.  The nurses kept having to wake me up and telling me to breathe.  She even helped me in how I was trying to breathe.  They finally had to put an oxygen mask on me to get extra oxygen into my lungs.  Labor really didn't seem as bad as what people have told me.  I kept waiting for different stages that people would tell me I would feel and I never felt them. 

     The nurse told me I can do a small push so she can see how far along I was.  I barely pushed when Christian's head was making its way into the world.  The nurse quickly put her hands up to stop the baby from coming out and screamed for the doctor.  This doctor (some other doc that was on call) came nonchalantly waltzing in eating a sandwich.  He places his sandwiches down on the counter and finishes catching our baby.  No longer were there movements inside of me but ahead of us layed a beautiful baby boy.  A son!  We had a son!  Exactly at 4am in the morning we became parents to an 8 pound 11 ounce, 21 inche long bouncing baby boy! 



Christian's  newborn picture



     We did the usual holding and examing our son that every parent goes through.  We were thrilled yet exhausted at the same time.  He was so adorable and perfect.  A nurse came in and asked if we wanted our new son to sleep in our room or to go to the nursery.  I said to go to the nursery in case he wakes up and I didn't.  I was nervous about sleeping through in case he was hungry or cold.  It was probably a good thing I said that too.   Brian went to the car to get a few hours of sleep and I still layed in the same bed that I already was laying in the day before and drifted off to sleep with happy thoughts of being a mom. 

Several hours later I woke up hearing my mom and her husband whispering to each other.  I realized I was in the hospital and I have a new son.  I quickly sat up and let them know I was awake.  They apologized if they woke up me and I told them that it was alright.  They wanted to see their grandson.  I paged for the nurse.  She enters the room and I introduce my mom to her.  I ask if she can bring Christian into the room.  Then she replies with a dreaded question that no new parent wants to hear, "Didn't the doctor tell you?"



     I choked up a bit.  Tell me?  Tell me what?  I was quickly freaking out inside.  On the outside I tried to stay calm since she was only the messenger.  "I don't think he did.  What is wrong?"  I could barely get the last words out of my mouth.  Please God, I begged, Please let everything be okay.  I didn't know if I wanted to hear what would be said next.  I didn't know if I could handle it. 

     She replied back by saying that she will contact the doctor and have the doctor tell me.  Not good! Not good!  Lord Jesus, whatever happened I know you have a reason for everything and I trust you. I thought to myself.  I was numb.  Time froze. 

     What seemed like an eternity the doctor called.  He apologized but said that he came in the room to talk with me and I sat up and conversed with him so he thought I was awake.  I strained my memory for any bit of recall to let me know he was in my room but nothing was coming.  It totally blank.  I couldn't remember a thing of him being there.  I was feeling horrible.  A medical crisis was going on and I wasn't sound enough to remember it.  Failure as a mother was quickly entering my thoughts.  The doctor went on and said that while monitoring Christian he started breathing too quickly and he wasn't getting enough air so they had to put him in an oxygen text.  I am sure in the medical world this wasn't a huge deal but for a young new mom this was nerve wrecking.  I didn't know what to expect now.  Lord, he's in your hands but you know my heart and I really want to have my son be okay.  I cried. 

     Brian came up shortly afterwards.  I told him the upsetting news.  He went and talked with the nurses and seen Christian.  He came back.  I wanted to see Christian too.  Brian didn't want me to because he was afraid that seeing him all hooked up in tubes and IV's would upset me.  I gained up my composure and told him that I am his mother and he needed to hear my voice.  There was no discussing it.  I had to see him. 



     The nurse took me to him.  He was in what looked like a mini fish tank.  He was on his back so tiny and helpless.  The tubing was distressing to see but I knew it was for the good of him.  I couldn't hold him.  All I could do was slip my hand up around a plastic sheet and hold his hand.  His baby hand was so soft and tiny.  I spoke to him and reassured him that I was there and he needed to get strong so we can go home.  It was hard but I stayed with him for a while. 

     Before being discharged from the hosptial everyone had to sit in on a small discussion about basic baby care.  I enter the class and looked around the room.  Happy faces of new mothers holding their baby outlined a table.  I felt all eyes stare upon me with question in their eyes as to where is that woman's baby.  I just wanted to sink in a hole and let the next few hours pass by.  Going around the room to introduce ourselves I explained what happened to Christian.  I have to admit that I was a bit jealous that these new mom's got to show off their little darlings and I couldn't even hold mine yet.  It seemed like a cruel joke. 



Christian age 2 months



     Finally after a few days Christian was able to come out of the oxygen tent.  Talking with the doctor he explained that upon a quick birth Christian inhaled some imnoitic fluid which gave him his breathing troubles.  He said it was very common with babies that are quick to birth.  We finally got the okay to discharge.  The nurse helped us put our tiny baby into the car seat and wheeled us down to the main doors.  That was our start to the Moyer family.   

    

    

Spontaneous Life Changing Decision

     The year was 2004.  Tax season was upon us.  Being new to the owner operating side of trucking we were sharing the delightful task of adding up all the fuel receipts, tolls, scales, repairs, and other numerous receipts late one evening after our 4 children were asleep.  Actually it wasn't delightful at all.  It was tedious and tiresome.  He was on a dedicated run from Ionia to Detroit and was home most weekends.  Every now and then he would do an extra run somewhere else.  Each receipt would open up a memory of what truck stop he was at or what load he was under when a breakdown occured. We needed a break.

    We enjoyed looking up Realtor.com on the computer just to see what is out there.  We lived in the city of Allegan but we wanted to buy some acres with a house.  At that time housing prices were soaring.  People from Grand Rapids and Kalamazoo were moving closer and closer to Allegan County causing the value of homes to increase.  Under the search engine we clicked on an area 75 Miles from Ionia since we were doing that deadhead anyway.  We put it a minimum of 3 bedrooms, 1 bath and what our top dollar was.  We started scrolling through some houses.  Then we seen a farm house with 5 acres.  We looked at the price and thought there must of been a typo and that it was too low for 5 acres let alone a house.  We looked at the location.  Sears.  Sears?  Where was that at?  We never heard of it.  We quickly grabbed a Michigan map and looked it up in the index.  Sure enough there is a town of Sears.  It would be an easy drive to head to Ionia from there.  We couldn't do anything more about it since it was night but we agreed to call on it the next morning.

     The morning came and I drove our two oldest off to first grade and kindergarten at a private school in a neighboring town.  When I came back I woke up Brian so he could call on the house.  The price is what was listed.  The realtor said we were free to check out the house anytime and it was unlocked.  We decided to keep the kids home from school the following day and drive up to look at it.

     The drive was long but we enjoyed long drives.   We entered Osceola County.  We kept a close eye on the addresses.  We were getting closer and closer.  Far off in the distance we could see a white dot on top of the hill.  I jested to Brian, "Wouldn't it be neat if that was our house up there?"
   
     "We are still a ways away.  That can't be it"  he answered back.

     We came closer and closer to that white house off in the distance.  The addresses were getting closer to the one we were looking for.  To our amazment the house on top of the hill was the same house we were looking for.

     It was plain and needed some TLC.  There was a drive available for Brian's truck too.  There were traces of snow still left on the ground where down in Allegan it was already melted.  We walked around the boarder of the property and looked at the inside of the place.  It certainly had potiental and we all were quite excited about it.  We drove into the next town of Evart to see what the town was like.  It was small and cute.  Modest homes and nice looking schools.  Were we ready to call his place home? 

     We called the realtor, put in our bid and on our oldest son's 7th birthday we signed papers on the house.  We had to wait another month so the kids could finish up their school back in Allegan County.  It was scary and exciting at the same time.  It almost didn't seem real.  We are taking on an adventure to head up north, away from family and friends, to a place where we really didn't know a single soul and to call this new place our home.

     A year later the auto industry was on life support.  Our dedicated run was no more as factories closed down and they didn't need our assistance.  We leased our truck on to a different company and now run coast to coast and boarder to boarder.   It will be 8 years at the end of April since we took this bold decision in moving our family.   Sometimes we wonder in this slow economy if this was the best thing to do.  Jobs are not easy to come by up here.  We wonder what the future will hold for our children.  But for right now we call this place home.  And it all just happened from taking a break while doing our taxes.        

A Bunny's Tale

     It was the morning of Easter.  My sister, brother, and I woke up to an exciting adventure of hunting for eggs and baskets.  Our mom was beaming with delight as she watched us run all over the house in search for our Sunday treasure.  I was around 7 or 8 years old, old enough to know there isn't a real Easter bunny yet young enough to still enjoy the magic of it all.  Then one of my sibilings seen something move.  A loud gasp filled the air followed by a hush of silence.  My other sibiling and I turned and looked at what the gasp was about.  Then we seen it....A BUNNY!


     Being a girl from a large city this was as country as I got.  Bunnies were either found on the farm or maybe every once in a while you might see one outside but this bunny was inside and in my house!  Then we seen something else move.  We looked over.  Another bunny!  We were beside ourselves.  No longer were we in search for baskets or eggs.  We were chasing two bunnies around the house trying to catch them so we can smother it with love.  One was a pure black bunny and the other was a pure white bunny.  Nothing delighted us more that Sunday morning. 


Our Easter gift - a black and a white bunny.  The brown bunny in the picture was a ceramic bunny used to see if the bunnies would get close to it.


     A guy my mom was dating at the time thought it would be nice to suprise us with these bunnies on Easter.  He brought them over late Saturday night and left again to be back over later on Sunday afternoon. 


We had all morning to get use to the bunnies and for the bunnies to get used to us.  He brought us a cage that we hung in our garage to keep the bunnies in.  Sometimes we would reach in and grab a bunny and the bunny would hop right out of our hands.  We had to quickly make sure all the doors were closed so the bunny wouldn't escape to the outdoors.  With time and patience we were always able to capture the bunny and take it either inside or back into the cage. 

     A few weeks later my mom informed us that she was going to donate the bunnies to the Saginaw Children's Zoo for the summer.  We were so sad not having them around the house.  With me being such a young age I did not like the idea but I didn't have a say in the matter.  Our mom did say that we would go and visit them during the summer.  And we did.  We would take several trips to the zoo.  They lived in a round cement slab that was put a few feet in the ground and a cement barrier around with a grassy dome in the middle. Standing close by we could see our bunnies.  We couldn't hold them but just seeing them make us happy.  They were the only two bunnies in the bunny exhibit. 

     Summer came to a close and the bunnies were coming home.  Our mom gave us some news before we could get them.  The zoo called.  Something happened while they were at the zoo.  It is the zoo's policy to only house female animals, well for bunnies anyway.  A male bunny must of got into the cage because they both had babies.  Our mom only wanted our black and white bunnies.  The zoo insisted that since our bunnies had babies that we had to take them all home.  I don't remember how many there were but there was several new white bunnies and several new black bunnies and we even had 2 tiny brown bunnies.  My mom felt overwhelmed at what to do with all these bunnies.  As far as a child's point of view nothing could be greater.

     One day early the next spring I wanted to hold a bunny.  They were all nestled in on the far corner of the cage.  My arm's length wasn't quite yet long enough.  I pulled up a milk crate and climbed up and pulled half of myself into the cage.  The wires that was holding up the suspending cage wasn't strong enough and a few of the wires broke.  The cage was on an uncomfortable list.  We ended up setting the cage on railroad ties to make due until we could get it hanged up from the rafters again. 

     It was a warm day outside and I thought the bunnies would like to enjoy the nice sunshine.  I managed to pull the cage outside and into the grass in our backyard.  They nibbled of a few strands here and there.  It looked like they were enjoying it.  The nights were getting warmer and mom said it would be fine if they stayed outside.  A few days later the bunnies were looking sick and they started to die.  I was so saddened by this.  My mom had her friend come over to help us figure out why they are getting sick.  They refused to eat.  We even used a medicine dropper to help try to feed them.  It was a useless battle.  One by one the bunnies were dying.  It crushed me.  We figured out what caused the bunnies to die off like that.  Mom forgot that she had the grass chemically treated just shortly before I broke the cage.  The grass the bunnies were eating were filled with chemicals by Tru-Green.  I am sure without my knowning my mom's friend helped put the other bunnies out of their misery. 


Our backyard where our bunnies had sealed their fate.


     We had a small funeral and burried some just behind the garage.  I would go and pick dandelions and place it over the turned up dirt that held in our dearly loved pets.  Although they have long been decomposed by now and the people who live there now have no clue that there is a small cemetery of bunnies in the backyard the happy memory of them still lingers on.

No More Easter Baskets!

     I have always enjoyed Easter growing up as a child.  Waking up Easter Sunday morning and tip-toeing out of my bedroom to see if I can locate a hidden egg before any of my sibilings wake up.  But like all sibilings on a holdiay morning the ears become super sonic and they would hear me and wake up and join me in the search of eggs and baskets.  Mom would soon come tumbling out of the bedroom telling us it is too early in the morning but by that time it was too late.  We were all on the search.  Mom takes her place on the couch while 3 young children zip all over the house looking for hidden treasure.  Afterwards my brother, sister and I would gather in the livingroom and open up our baskets looking at our goodies while eatting hard boiled colorful eggs and marshmellow peeps.  Life was grand.
    
     Having a family of my own I carried over the same traditions.  Being on the parent side made me look at things a little bit differently.  The premade baskets bought at the store were soon filled with cheap toys for too much of the cost.  After a few years all the baskets seems redundant.  Baskets with basketballs or footballs.  Baskets with sand toys.  Baskets with a cheap imatition of transformers or barbie or a plastic car that would break before the day was over.  There would be just a few packages of candy and mostly filled with Easter grass that you would still be vacuuming in the fall.  Easter was quickly losing its fun.

     So for a while I decided to make my own baskets.  I got to put what the kids liked in it along with other goodies of peeps, bubbles, books, etc.  The baskets were full and without Easter grass.  The older kids were starting to poke fun at where the hiding places would be and would tease that the Easter baskets are too easy to find.  I thought deeply about it.  They were right.  I was using the same spots over and over again.  Beind the couch, shoved between the fridge and the wall, in the bathtub, or behind the curtain.  I was feeling discouraged.  That bulky handle on the baskets made it hard to find creative places to hide for the older ones.  I needed a new plan. 

     In 2008 I came up with new plan.  No more baskets!  We would do "Hide-A-Gift".   They would each get 3 things, maybe 4.  One would be a big gift of something they want and the others would be smaller items like a kite, frisbee or chocolate bunny or bubbles.  I would buy 6 different designs of wrapping paper and each child's gift would be in that style of wrapping paper.  In the morning, on the coffee table, there would be samples of wrapping paper with their names on it.  They would know to find the present with the corresponding wrapping paper.   I had fun with it.  I hid some balanced on the drapery rod, tucked away in the bookshelf, on top of the bread box and under a cabinet.   For the younger children I would make it easy on them but the older kids had a hard time finding their packages.  In less than an hour a child or two would beg for a quick game of "Hot and Cold" to help tell where the gift was hiding.  Some would be determinded not to need assistance as they could find it themselves only to come back to me discouraged and needing help.  But I needed an idea for Easter candy.  So arrived another idea.  Pinatas!

     I loved Pinatas.  I remember in Kindergarten making one so I knew it couldn't be that hard to do.  A blown up balloon, strips of newspaper and lots and lots of glue.  After it dried I would make an opening and toss in all sorts of goodies like hand size bubbles, pixie sticks, ring pops, tiny Easter chocolates, pop rocks, a few yo-yos and other tiny toys.  I would seal it back up and duct tape the soft spots and add a few more layers of glued newspaper strips.  I would have the kids help me paint it.  Each child gets their own section to paint and design.  They enjoyed making it as much as they enjoyed wacking it open in the afteroon on Easter Sunday.  The youngest would always go first on up to the oldest so that each child hopefully gets a chance to wack it.   


Elizabeth (10) painting her section of the pinata.



Ashton aged 8 painting a bunny design on her section of the pinata.



Easter morning Elizabeth helps holds up the pinata while her sister Ashton takes a wack at it.  It was too cold that year to have the pinata outside.

Halvor aged 3 painting his section of the pinata with the help of his sister Elizabeth (age 10)



Christian (age 11) is helping his brother James (age 6) with his part of the pinata.

    

 We still color eggs and hide them as well.  They enjoy making different designs and writing sayings on the eggs with a white crayon.  The day is filled with eatting hard-boiled eggs and Easter candy just like I did when I was a child.  The tradition has changed for our family from baskets to gifts but the children really enjoy this way and perhaps they will pass this tradition on to their familes as well.